My Champion
by spike's-chosen1
Summary: Post Chosen. The scoobie gang are in England but then a letter forces them out to LA where they meet some familiar faces and not all good ones.cute spuffyness.
1. Default Chapter

  
  
'Go on then.'  
  
'No no, you've done enough you can still....'  
  
'Buffy come on!'  
  
'Gotta move lamb. I think it's fair to say school's out for bloody summer.'  
  
'Spike!'  
  
'I mean it ,I gotta do this', Spike said firmly holding out his hand to stop her.  
  
Buffy looked at his hand and slowly reached out, interlacing her fingers with his. He stared at her and then closed his fingers over hers. A flame shot up from their hands, but Buffy wouldn't let go. She couldn't go without saying it. She took a deep breath.  
  
'I love you.'  
  
Spike looked at her for a second and almost smiled.  
  
'No you don't. But thanks for saying it.'  
  
Buffy stared at Spike shocked, but then it sunk in. She tried to control the tears that were threatening to overpower her. She couldn't break down on Spike, it was hard enough on him as it was. They stood for a few seconds staring into each other's eyes but then bits of the ceiling fell down forcing them to break away.  
  
'Now go', Spike said seriously, but pleadingly.  
  
Buffy took one last look at Spike and ran, she tried not to look back she knew if she did she wouldn't be able to leave him. She tried to get out of the school as quick as she could but it was falling apart and there were a few dead ends. She managed to get on the roof and sprinted across it desperately trying to catch up with the others. And there they were, in a yellow bus which was speeding away from Sunnydale. She couldn't wait any longer, so bracing herself she took a flying jump from a building and landed hard on the top of the bus. The bus had got out of Sunnydale in the nick of time and came to a screeching halt. Buffy opened her eyes and jumped off. Dawn and the others came running out of the bus. Dawn threw her arms around Buffy, beaming.  
  
'I don't understand, what did this?' Giles asked.  
  
Buffy pulled away her face contorting with pain.  
  
'Spike', she answered walking away from them. She could not look at them, not face their comforting faces and their sympathy. It was too much to bear, she hoped they'd understand. Dawn looked extremely sorry for Buffy as she watched her walk away, she knew how much Buffy cared for Spike, knew there was nothing she could say. Luckily the other guys saved her from saying anything. As they stood at the edge of Sunnydale looking down into where had once been there home, and reflecting on everything including shops like Starbucks and The Gap, Buffy still couldn't believe it she was overcome in emotion she felt she might explode, on one side she was distraught and destroyed at losing Spike, but proud of him, and then she was happy and relived they'd won. The tears welled up in her eyes again. She was only half listening to what the other guys were saying until Willow asked her what they were going to do now, but before she even had time to consider the matter Faith spoke.  
  
'Yeah you're not the one and only Chosen anymore. Just get to live like a person. How's that feel?'  
  
Buffy thought considering what Faith had just said, trying to take it all in.  
  
'Yeah Buffy. What are we going to do now.'  
  
Buffy stared out ahead. They were all right, she could live like a person now, she could live a normal life like she'd always wanted. There was so many things she wanted to do, and see. Buffy found she couldn't speak, so as stared dreamily out to her beloved old home she smiled.  
Buffy woke up with a jolt breathing heavily. She looked around her the room was pitch black, only the moonlight seeping through the curtains. She reached for her glass of cold water which she had had to keep to help her sleep ever since they had come over to England. It wasn't because they were in a different environment, in fact she doubted things would have been any different if they had been in Sunnydale. She paused to gather her emotions together, the cold glass pressing tightly against her hand. It smashed into small pieces which scattered across the floor. Buffy scowled as she looked at the mess she'd made. She heaved herself out of bed, carefully avoiding the glass, and walked over to the window. She pulled back the curtain and stared outside. It was a beautiful night, the stars shone brightly, everything seemed peaceful. She watched an old couple enviously as they sat on a bench holding each other. She wished Spike was here now holding her as she watched the river flowing gently. All she ever wanted was to normal life, now she felt it meant nothing. She would give it up if she could just have Spike back. 


	2. Forget Me Not

The next few days passed so slowly, everyone so calm and relaxed and happy it was almost more than Buffy could bear. But something was going to change all that.  
That morning when Buffy woke up she found everyone sitting nervously at the table waiting for her.  
  
'What's up, you're all bad and moody.' Willow stood up.  
  
'You got a letter...it's from L.A', she said hoarsely. Buffy frowned and took it. She opened it carefully and read..  
  
To Buffy,  
  
I don't know if this will get to you, but I hope it does. This is very important and we need you to come to L.A right away, bring your friends too. The thing is we found Spike's amulet and it was in fine condition, we reckon there's a lot more to it than reaches the eye, I can't really explain it all in this letter because Angel might find it and he'll go mad if he does. He doesn't know that we writing to you see, and he didn't think it was a good idea to tell you when I talked to him about it. It's just two people won't get of my case until I do something so we had to take desperate measures. Please come over Buffy, there is a guy we know in London if you could meet him in St. Andrews road in Oxford Street (There's instructions on how to get there on the back) he will give you your flight ticket and everything, we've sorted it all out and it took some time, all you need to do is get your bags ready. Your flight will leave on April 3rd (Buffy gasped 'But that's tomorrow') at 3:00pm please be ready on time.  
  
From Wesley  
  
P.S There is a lot of big surprises so be prepared.  
  
Buffy looked up at them all.  
  
'I have to pack my bags by tomorrow', she repeated in awe. Giles stood up.  
  
'I know it's a bit soon, we think the letter got lost in the post or something.'  
  
'Why can't they just tell me what's so important, I'm curious now.'  
  
Xander and Willow exchanged dark looks.  
  
'Buff, if the amulet is in fine condition I...the important thing might be about Spike', Xander said cautiously as though worried she would shout at him.  
  
'Why do you think that', Buffy said sharply. Xander shrugged.  
  
'Well we don't really know where he went after he..burned up', Xander muttered. Everyone stared at Xander, shocked. Buffy's eyebrow twitched.  
  
'You've already discussed this haven't you?', she said looking at them all. No one answered.  
  
'Well if their calling me there to tell me Spike is being tortured in hell, I don't want to know', she said her voice cracking, she turned away and stormed out the corner of her eyes burning.  
  
'Buffy, that's not what we meant, Willow called after her, BUFFY!'  
  
Buffy broke into a run, she could hear Willow running after her, she slammed her bedroom door in her face but Willow pushed it open.  
  
'You don't need to run from me', Willow said kindly.  
  
'You know once I storm out I don't really want someone chasing after me, I want to be alone.'  
  
'Yeah well I-I'm not gonna let you be alone, you've been alone for most of our time here and I'm fed up of being all cautious about bringing up Spike and wondering what to say to you, someone had to say something you've been avoiding us ever since we came to England', Willow said toughly.  
  
'I'm sorry you felt that way', Buffy replied coldly.  
  
'But it's not about how we feel Buffy, she said desperately, it's about you, how you feel.'  
  
'You don't understand anything about how I feel', Buffy snapped.  
  
'Actually I do, I remember what it's like to lose someone you love.'  
  
'You didn't let Tara die.'  
  
'I did, I stood there flapping around and crying, I lost it Buffy I really lost it, and I dealt with it badly but you, your just sitting around saying nothing ,your grieving and I want to be here for you but I can't if every time I try to talk to you, you shut me out.'  
  
'Wow, you really mean business don't you, Buffy said with a weak smile, but I don't know what to say Will, I don't know how to explain how I'm feeling because I'm feeling so many different things, probably emotion possible...I feel like I...', Buffy broke of tears creeping in her eyes again. Willow put her arms around her.  
  
'Oh don't cry Buffy, please don't cry I know it's hard but we'll cope...you could talk to Xander you two are in the same boat.'  
  
'But he still has a chance, me I've blown it three times Willow, I don't think I'll get another shot (Willow opened her mouth to argue) and even if I do it won't be the same as Spike, they won't understand me like Spike did', she sobbed. Buffy leaned over into Willow's lap pouring everything out on her, they sat there rocking comforting each other.  
Meanwhile downstairs Giles had just come back from meeting the man and getting their flight tickets. He handed them out telling the to get packed right away.  
Suddenly there was a loud crash and the windows all around them smashed showering them in glass. Dawn screamed, but then felt a cold arm closing around her and knew no more. 


	3. Hostiles

Dawn's eyes fluttered open. They were somewhere dark and damp; she saw Xander, Giles and Kennedy lying some 10 feet away. Then she heard voices  
  
'Is that all of them?'  
  
'I believe so, sir.'  
  
'Good..I like it when things go to planned..do you know which one is the slayer.'  
  
'No sir but I know someone who will.'  
  
'Find them.'  
  
'Yes sir.'  
  
Dawn heard someone walk out. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Xander wake up.  
  
'Holy crap, Xander gasped when he saw where they were, what the hell happened?'  
  
Kennedy stirred. When she too realised they'd been kidnapped she cursed loudly. She looked around for Willow.  
  
'Willow...willow..where is she?'  
  
'I dunno, Buffy's not here either I think they've got them somewhere else.'  
  
'Screw it, I'm going to find them', she fumed and stood up wobbling slightly.  
  
'Stay where you are, came Giles voice, you can barely stand up.'  
  
'Bullocks I'm fine, I'm well capable of kicking some ass', she said, but as she did she fell into the cabinet next to her. Giles raised his eyebrow, Kennedy scowled and sat back down again.  
Then they heard the sound for the footsteps returning. The door opened and a tall, musclular mad stood at the doorway smirking.  
  
'I see your awake, now kindly tell me which one of you is the slayer', he said inspecting them all. Dawn snorted.  
  
'She's not here you idiot, you got the wrong crowd.'  
  
'No we didn't, one of you is the slayer and you will tell me which one unless you want to be tortued', he yelled. Dawn laughed evily again.  
  
'I told you none of us is the slayer, I should know I'm her sister.'  
  
'Dawn', Giles hissed sharply. Dawn sent him a quizzical look.  
  
'What I'm telling the...'  
  
'I know but you don't reveal information about ourselves, we have no idea who these people are', Giles muttered moving his mouth as little as possible.  
  
'You shall no whisper here, how do I know your not planning your escape', the man growled. Giles glared at them man and the man held his gaze showing equal dislike. Xander looked between them nervously. Kennedy stood up again.  
  
'Which slayer do you want', she asked.  
  
'Thee slayer.'  
  
'So you haven't heard, bit behind aren't you don't you know most of women population are slayers now thanks to my girl.' 'Your lying', the man snapped but there was fear in his eyes now.  
  
'No I'm not, but if you were looking for Buffy she's not here, neither is Willow the one who did the spell so your just gonna have to take my word for it.'  
  
'What about Faith?'  
  
'Ah you know about her, Kennedy said grinning, well that's something,' The man's eyes flashed dangerously.  
  
'I shall go and get my boss, he knows this Buffy you speak of .' Kennedy rolled her eyes. No one spoke until he returned, as the door opened Dawn felt a sudden rush of forbidding. Then the boss stepped into the light and they all gasped.  
  
'Riley!' 


	4. Secrets

Riley did not look at them.  
  
'How could you', Dawn demanded. Riley still avoided her eyes.  
  
'Dude I though we were your friends', Xander said. Riley looked up at them.  
  
'I'm sorry about Smith if he scared you, he thinks he's the big man (Smith's face tightened) we're not here to torture you.' Xander breathed out a fake sigh of relief.  
  
'Oh thank God, I guess smashing glass on us and gassing us was all for nothing, now we can all just skip home.'  
  
'This is no joke Xander; we need the slayer and Spike.' Xander made a face.  
  
'Spike?....but he's..dead.'  
  
Riley frowned.  
  
'He's what?'  
  
'Dead, he died in the final fight; he sacrificed himself to save the world.' Riley laughed  
  
'Spike risk his own neck, never.'  
  
'He had a soul', Dawn chipped in.  
  
'Was he still sleeping with Buffy?'  
  
'No but they had a thing.chemistry..they loved each other.'  
  
'But I thought it was just...'  
  
'Things changed when he got back, Buffy fell in love with him, but that's not the point why did you bring us here?'  
  
'We got a tip of that Spike had been given a particular amulet, which is dangerous, and he has been chosen as Buffy's champion.'  
  
'How do you know all that?' Xander asked suspiciously.  
  
'It doesn't matter how we found it all out, but we also know a prophecy was made about a vampire with a soul, we think this prophecy is not for Angel after all but is for Spike..but if he's dead, I don't know the guy we kidnapped..'  
  
'Whoa, Xander interrupted, kidnapped?'  
  
'Yeah we watched Giles as he met up with an American man, we kidnapped him after Giles had left, he told us everything that had been happened in L.A and that you were leaving for there tomorrow.'  
  
'And how much did you have to torture the guy before he told you all that', Xander asked. Riley looked a little offended.  
  
'I didn't torture him..exactly, I just punched him a bit (Xander snorted) he failed to mention that Spike had died but.. (Riley paused as though suddenly remembering something) he said Buffy didn't know and that she might not react well when she finds out, Riley muttered to himself, the guy was a bit annoying he went on and on about all this crap...'  
  
'Annoying?' Xander said looking meaningfully at the other guys. Giles frowned but then it seemed it hit him just as it hit Dawn and Kennedy. 'Was this guy blonde', Dawn asked quietly.  
  
'Yes', replied Riley without paying much attention.  
  
'And did he say anything about he knew all that information', Kennedy asked moving closer to Riley.  
  
'He has been living in L.A, I don't really know much about him he was wearing a hood over his face, course we tore it off when we were threatening him.'  
  
'Did he cry when you threatened him ,and keep mentioning Star Wars and Star Trek and (Xander grinned)..loser stuff like that, he added catching himself, anyway did he say his name was Andrew?' Riley seemed to have woken up.  
  
'Yeah as a matter of fact he...'  
  
'Giles, Xander cried, why didn't you tell us you were meeting Andrew in London.'  
  
'I-I didn't know it was him, he was disguised like Riley said and he put on a voice, I think he was trying to do Spike's voice he kept saying bloody hell in the most terrible cockney accent I've heard in all my life.'  
  
'Really, he sounded American when I spoke to him', Riley said.  
  
'He is American, he didn't come to England with us, but instead went to L.A to help out, that was the last we heard of him', Giles explained.  
Meanwhile back at the BNB they were staying at Buffy and Willow were having a drink and taking a trip down memory lane. It was emotional, and sometimes hard to speak of the hard times they'd been through ,Willow choked when she remembered Tara's death, and Buffy found herself heartily wishing her mum and Spike were alive to see how different their lives were now.  
  
'We've had some pretty good times too, lots of giggling moments', Willow said grinning.  
  
'Yeah I suppose so.'  
  
'And at least we can definitely say we were never short of things to do', Willow added. Buffy smiled. There was an awkward silence. Willow checked her watch hastily.  
  
'Um so.er.I do you think the other guys are back from whether they went, I think I heard them leave.but then I don't remember much after that', Willow said thoughtfully. Buffy looked up, realising how strange that was. Willow seemed to be thinking the same thing because they stood up at exactly the same time, and without another word ran downstairs. They pushed open the door of the kitchen and gaped at the mess that greeted their eyes. There was glass everywhere and the room smelt funny, it seemed to create a sort of bliss in Buffy's head...no, she snapped back to her senses. Willow was taking deep breaths next to her.  
  
'You ok Will', Buffy asked.  
  
'Yeah I.for a minute there I felt like I was floating, but I'm ok now which is more than I can say about this place, it's been thrashed and Dawn, Kennedy and Giles are gone', Willow said worriedly.  
  
'We have to go and find them, they've been kidnapped and I've got a funny feeling we were gassed too and lost our memory temporally..infact I can remember it all there was this guy dressed up like he was from the military or..',Buffy eyes widened and she looked at Willow.  
  
'Oh no, not the iniative, it couldn't be Riley wouldn't kidnap.'  
  
'Well it's a bit strange that they got kidnapped right after Giles came back, they must have followed them, that is so what the Iniative would do.'  
  
'But how are we going to find them', Willow asked nervously.  
  
'Follow me.' 


	5. Let us go

'Riley you have to let us go.'  
  
'No I'm not finished with you guys yet.'  
  
'But we have to get packed.'  
  
'Yeah we've told you everything, and whatever surprises there are for Buffy she'll deal, she's a tough cookie', Dawn said in a tone that told every one the argument was over. Riley let out a sigh in frustration.  
  
'Guys just listen...' Riley began.  
  
'NO YOU JUST LISTEN', Kennedy shouted. She glared at Riley. 'If you really are a friend as you keep saying you are, then you'll let us go, we've heard enough of your stories, we've heard it all before all right, now let us go or we're gonna have get physical.' Riley fell silent and looked at them in turn, thinking. Finally he gave another deep sigh and put his hands up as if to surrender.  
  
'Fine, if you don't want to hear what I've got to say then go.' Kennedy smiled slightly.  
  
'Good choice', she said patting his shoulder and just then the door smashed down. There in the doorway stood Buffy with her arms folded and a black- eyed Willow next to her.  
  
'Guess the locater spell worked.' Buffy eyes swept around the room and fell on Riley, her jaw dropped.  
  
'R.Riley.'  
  
'No I.I can explain, we kidnapped them to tell them some useful stuff but they don't want to hear it.' Riley went on to explain the whole story to Buffy and Willow.  
  
'Andrew was in England?'  
  
'Yeah, but he's going back on the flight tomorrow when you are', Riley answered.  
  
'So your letting us go?' Buffy repeated as though she didn't believe him.  
  
'Well yeah, seen as you lot won't listen', he said looking at Dawn, Kennedy and Giles. They walked out together, but Riley came running after them. He pulled Buffy aside so they could talk in private, while the other guys started to make their way home.  
  
'Buffy are you sure about this?'  
  
'I'm sure, they've already got my tickets and everything.'  
  
'But Buffy Andrew said it's gonna be hard for you', Riley said, still unconvinced.  
  
'I'll be alright, I'm pretty sure I've faced much worse', said with a slight smile. Riley returned her smile.  
  
'You look nice..happy', he said.  
  
'So do you..it was nice to see you again.' Buffy turned about to go, but Riley made a noise halfway between a word and a cough.  
  
'What?'  
  
'Do..er..do you really love Spike?' he asked. Buffy paused for a second, thinking whether to tell him or not.  
  
'Yes', she replied finally.  
  
'Then good luck', he said staring at Buffy seriously. Buffy frowned and wondered what he meant. Buffy watched Riley retreat back into the old house, before turning to run to catch up with her friends. 


	6. Returned

They were on the plane to L.A. Buffy Dawn, Xander and Giles sat in the front with Willow and Kennedy behind them.  
  
'I'm excited, this is gonna be so cool going back to America again, no more wasting my time doing nothing', Kennedy said. Willow looked up at her, hurt.  
  
'That's what spending time with me was, waste of your time?'  
  
'No that's not what I meant, what I meant is now we're gonna be with big bad Angel we might actually get to kick some evil ass.'  
  
'Right, Willow said quietly still quite put off. They didn't talk again until the plane had touched down in Las Vegas airport. They got of the plane and went to collect their stuff.  
  
'Where do you think they are', Dawn asked anxiously as they looked for Angel or anyone who knew him.  
Then they spotted Wesley alone in the corner. They ran over.  
  
'Wesley, long time no see, Dawn said holding out her hand, well actually we never truly met but I remember you from my made up memory's.' Wesley frowned at her.  
  
'Long story', Dawn said quickly.  
  
'So where we going?' Buffy asked.  
  
'I called a cab, follow me.' They got into the cab and stared out of the window in amazement.  
  
'Oh my God, L.A has got so many malls, and clubs, I can't believe you never brought me here before', Dawn said to Buffy.  
The car screeched to a halt, and they got out nervously.  
  
'Does Angel know we're here?' Buffy asked Wesley. Wesley avoided her eyes.  
  
'Well er (He opened the front door) no, not really.' They saw Angel, Gunn and Fred looking over some files of some sort. They all jumped when they came in. Angel's eyes widened and Gunn was looking just as confused.  
  
'Buffy, what are you doing here', Angel hissed walking over to them. Wesley gave a small cough.  
  
'Well..er..me and Fred ...we kinda decided to invite them over', Wesley said lamely. Angel raised his eyebrows.  
  
'Oh so they just popping in for tea and biscuits are they?' he said his voice shaking with anger.  
  
'Is this the slayer', Gunn said pointing at Buffy. Angel ignored him.  
  
'Wesley, why don't you come to the kitchen so we can..talk', Angel muttered. Wesley followed Angel to the kitchen, slamming the door behind them. But they could still hear Angel shout.  
  
'WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING OF.'  
  
'I'm sorry but she needs to know, we don't have to tell her all the details, but at least something will do, she has a right to know Angel', Wesley said firmly. Angel slammed his hand onto the desk.  
  
'Damn it Wes, your always going behind my back, I told you no and I meant no, she's trying to live a normal life and now you go and ruin it.'  
  
'You just want to play the hero for her so you can win her over', Wesley snapped.  
  
'I am not playing the hero, but I am a better at playing it anyway..but no I'm past that, I know me and her are over and so does she, I can't give her what she needs but ...' Just then Kennedy opened the door.  
  
'Can you please just tell us what you're talking about, you brought us here and now you're not telling us why.'  
  
Wesley gave Angel a dark look.  
  
'And who are you?' Angel asked rudely.  
  
'Kennedy one of the new slayers and also Willow's girlfriend.'  
  
'Willow's seeing you...' Wesley started but Angel cut him off.  
  
'Never mind that now, you lot coming here was a mistake we'll get you tickets back to England.'  
  
'Hey you can't do that you just brought us here, and we went through a whole lot of trouble to get here and now your sending us back, I don't think so your going to tell us what we need to know and your gonna tell us now', Kennedy said advancing on Angel.  
  
'Right little spoilt brat aren't you', Angel spat. Kennedy didn't back down. Willow, Buffy, and the others came in.  
  
'Don't call her that', Willow said politely but seriously.  
  
'Who asked you lot to come in', Angel said coldly.  
  
'No more secrets Angel, whatever you need to tell us sounds important', Buffy said. Angel bit his lip.  
  
'No.no you don't need to know all this right now, it'll spoil everything for you.'  
  
'I'll get over it now tell me what I need to know.' Angel looked from Buffy to Wesley who nodded encouragingly. Angel took a deep breath  
  
'Fine..you know Spike burned up (Buffy nodded) well we...'  
  
'Did I hear someone mention my name.'  
  
Buffy looked up and gasped.  
  
'Spike.' 


	7. I've missed you

'Hello Buffy', Spike said smiling in a dreamy way. He walked over to her and gazed at her like all his dreams had come true. Buffy tried to speak but found the words were caught in her throat, she felt like all the breath had been sucked out of her, she was completely winded and unable to speak or think. Xander went over to Buffy.  
  
'She's in shock', Xander said.  
  
'I think we all are', Willow said in a small voice. Kennedy, Giles and Dawn were looking just as shocked. Buffy stared at Spike her mouth open, she tried to move her arm so she could pinch herself and wake up from this crazy dream. None of this was real, it couldn't be but as she stared back into those gleaming eyes a part of her knew it was real. Spike reached out his arm with what seemed like great effort and ran his fingers through her hair and down her face. His eyes were shinning with tears.  
  
'Buffy', he whispered. Buffy swallowed, her throat felt like there was a golf ball stuck in it and it was burning. Her eyes filled with tears and rolled down her face. She took deep breaths; her cheeks were aching with the pain of trying not to cry or laugh with joy, she wasn't sure which to do.  
  
'How?' she managed to choke out. Spike paused for a second wondering where to start. Angel broke the silence.  
  
'It's a really long story Buffy; maybe we should explain everything in the morning.' Buffy was holding on Spike's arm.  
  
'Are..are you real?' Spike smiled slightly.  
  
'I'm real, and I'm corporeal now.'  
  
'What do you mean your corporeal now?' Xander said.  
  
'I came back as a ghost of some sort, I couldn't touch things but I was visible but then I was sent something and I was made corporeal...that's er all you need to know for now', he answered.  
  
'There was more to it than just that', Wesley said in an irritated voice. Angel put up his hand to silence Wesley.  
  
'That's all the important facts', Angel growled. Wesley sent Angel a quizzical look but then realised what he was talking about. Spike looked pleased with himself about something.  
  
'Still bitter eh Angel?' Angel's lips tightened. Kennedy looked from Angel to Spike.  
  
'Bitter about what?'  
  
'Nothing', Angel muttered still glaring at Spike.  
Willow had her arm around Buffy.  
  
'You alright?' she whispered to her. Buffy slowly nodded.  
  
'Maybe we should leave Buffy and Spike alone', Willow said loudly. They all agreed and reluctantly left the room. Though Buffy was pretty sure they were listening intently outside. Buffy looked up at Spike. There was a moment's pause between them but then Buffy threw her arms Spike. Spike held her tightly as she sobbed softly.  
  
'I missed you so much, every day I expected to wake up and you'd be lying there next to me', she choked into his shoulder. Spike closed his eyes.  
  
'I know, he said softly, I missed you too I wanted to tell you but that stupid git Angel wouldn't let me, he made me feel like I was selfish to want to ruin your normal life.'  
  
'All I'd ever wanted was a normal life but I never considered for a second that if I survived you wouldn't', Buffy said still in Spike's loving embrace. All she had been feeling over the last couple of weeks seemed to come out here, as they gripped onto each other as though scared to loose each other again. 


	8. Just like old times

Buffy woke up the next morning feeling so comfy and warm that she kept her eyes shut hoping to drop of again. She just wanted to lie like this forever, with Spike lying next to her.  
She opened her eyes in spite of herself; she had to make sure it wasn't a dream. She shifted and felt Spike's arm slide of her, then turned around and came face to face with Spike. His eyes were still shut and a smile was spread across his face. Buffy returned his smile and stroked his face.  
Suddenly there was a loud knock, and a creek as the door opened. Buffy looked around to see who it was.  
  
'Sorry, Willow whispered, I didn't mean to wake you up its just breakfast is ready.'  
  
'I was already half awake', Buffy said. Willow came over and sat on the edge of the bed.  
  
'You two have a good night?'  
  
'We spent the night in each other's arms......again.'  
  
'Again?'  
  
'Yeah we did it twice before, on the night of the final fight and the night before that.'  
  
'Wow you lovebirds you', Willow said smiling and punching Buffy's arm lightly. Buffy smiled weakly.  
  
'Well... er...I'll leave you to get changed, you don't want your waffles to get cold now', Willow said standing up.  
Willow left the room and Buffy nudged Spike trying to wake him up, then all of a sudden she had a quick flashback of when she came down the stairs the second time after she had given the amulet to Spike.  
She stood at the bottom of the stairs, there was a moment's pause in which neither of them moved but then they slowly walked to each other.  
  
'I forgot something last time', Buffy explained. She was nervous about doing this again but she felt she had to. She moved closer to Spike and they kissed gently and warmly. When they pulled away Buffy eyes were still shut, and her lips still puckered.  
  
'Are you sure you want to do this', Spike asked. Buffy eyes flickered open.  
  
'Don't you want me to?'  
  
'I dunno, I mean don't you think it takes the meaning away a bit.'  
  
Well I just wanted things to wrap up, you know, and I couldn't just leave....you were all I could think about', Buffy said giving Spike a meaningful look. Spike looked away.  
  
'And there was really too much going on before to start things over again and we're about to go into the hellmouth and we might not make it out, so who else would I want to spend my last moments with', Buffy added.  
  
'And if we make it.....what then?' Spike said. Buffy thought about it for a second.  
  
'Then we can start things over, I said before maybe when...and then you interrupted me, but Spike you need to know something.'  
  
'Look Buffy, I really can't think about this now.....it's just too much with everything that's going on, can't we just keep things simple', Spike said, he looked as though this was costing him every ounce of effort that he had.  
  
'I know Spike, but if we don't make it through this I'll never forgive myself, so please just let me say it before I lose my nerve.'  
  
'Don't', Spike said through gritted teeth.  
  
'Don't what?'  
  
'Whatever your gonna say will make things harder...harder on us, it's......it's too late Buffy', Spike said softly, Buffy could see the pain in his eyes. She felt a horrible sinking feeling in her stomach. 'But everything is so clear now....now that I know we stand a chance.'  
  
Spike stared at Buffy studying her, waiting for her to laugh and tell him she was just freaking out. She didn't. Now Spike didn't understand, why couldn't things be simple between them, their connection went deeper then anything he'd ever felt before, but after all they'd been through could they really make things right? Spike wanted to so badly, but he had to put Buffy first. He swallowed.  
  
'No...Buffy you don't know how hard this is for me, but I have to be strong about this, I need to think about you and respect what you are and what you need...and...and I can't give you that, you need someone who can make you happy...and when your with them things fall into place, and (Spike took a deep breath fighting back the tears) when you look at them no one needs to say anything...because you just, you just understand each other.'  
  
'I do.....with you, things fall into place when I'm with you, and we understand each other better than anyone else, and you've always got my back no matter what......and we really care about each other, Buffy said her voice cracking, doesn't......doesn't that mean anything to you?'  
  
'It means everything to me, you mean everything to me, you're my world.'  
  
'Then why throw away what we have.'  
  
'I'm not throwing it away, I'm postponing it.....until afterwards, like you said.'  
  
'Ok so we wait, we don't do anything until after the fight', Buffy said defiantly.  
  
'Right', Spike agreed.  
They looked at each other, and then moved forward and kissed passionately. They fell onto the bed next them.  
  
Buffy pulled her hand away like she had been given an electric shock and Spike stirred. 'Wha.....what', Spike rubbed his eyes.  
  
'Did I over sleep, are we going in yet?' Spike said sitting up. Spike blinked and everything came into focus.  
  
'Oh it's you, I had a weird dream like I was seeing our last few moments together before.......before we went into the hellmouth', Spike said.  
  
'Me too', Buffy said.  
  
'It was probably just a coincidence', Spike said trying to sound casual. Buffy didn't say anything, she had never had a vision before and it not mean anything, and this time both her and Spike had the same vision at the same time. She didn't confess her fears to Spike, and they didn't mention a word about to it to the other guys as they had breakfast.  
'So are you gonna tell me the whole story', Buffy asked Angel and Spike. They gave each other looks of great loathing.  
  
'We still don't know much about the box that was sent to Spike, or who it was from, it's still a complete mystery....but...there was a prophecy made years and years ago....it said the vampire with a soul will shansue, which means to become human.' Buffy stared.  
  
'So what does this mean', she said, but she already knew the answer.  
  
'One of us will become human...a few weeks ago we thought we'd found the real thing and me and Spike fought for it.'  
  
'And I won, so I drank from it and nothing happened', Spike finished for Angel.  
  
'It didn't mean anything though because it wasn't the real thing so I'm still in with a chance', Angel muttered bitterly.  
  
'We'll see about that', Spike snarled.  
  
'Is that everything?' Buffy said over Angel and Spike's bickering. Angel shrugged.  
  
'I guess only time will tell.'  
  
'Yeah cos who knows, maybe tomorrow one of us will be human and cleaned from our past sins', Spike said.  
  
'Will you give it a rest', Angel hissed. Buffy shook her head and left them to squabble.  
  
'No need to get all up tight about it, I thought it didn't mean anything', Spike said to Angel. Angel started to walk away but couldn't contain his anger.  
  
'Your pathetic you know that, you think you're the big man cos you beat me once, well how many times have I beat you...Drusilla, Buffy...'  
  
'Shut up.'  
  
'And how many more times have I helped people then you', Angel continued.  
  
'How many times have you died to save the world....and how many times have you helped people when you didn't have a soul', Spike snapped. Angel fell silent, Spike had struck a nerve.  
  
'At least I'm Buffy's true love.'  
  
'Yeah that's why you're still together, you were once her true love not any more, she's moved on now.'  
  
'Yeah but she still loves me.'  
  
'Maybe......but love isn't always enough is it Angel, you two will never work things out cos your not meant to be, all you do is cause pain to each other and every one around you ....you will never ,NEVER be lovers.' Angel was shaking with rage now.  
  
'And I suppose you and her will.'  
  
'I guess only time will tell', Spike said through gritted teeth. Angel and Spike were now so close their noses were almost touching. They held each other's glare, each refusing to look away in case of showing a sign of weakness.  
  
'Bring it on blondie bear, Angel said smirking, fight for it and then we'll see who the real champion is.' Angel turned and strode out. 


	9. All about Buffy

'Angel there's someone here to see you', Harmony informed Angel.  
  
'Oh for God's sake, tell them I'm working.'  
  
'I think they know that..sir.'  
  
'Fine bring them in', Angel snapped slamming his paperwork on the desk. Harmony bowed and walked out.  
Buffy walked in.  
  
'Hope I'm not interrupting anything', Buffy said.  
  
'Nothing important', Angel sighed.  
  
'Anyway straight to the point, I er..I had a vision last night, it was like a flashback of me and Spike's last few moments together before we went into the hellmouth', Buffy said quickly.  
  
'So.'  
  
'So..Spike also had the same vision at the same time but we decided not to say anything but it's been bugging me.'  
  
'What happened in the vision', Angel asked.  
  
'Does that matter', Buffy said blushing slightly.  
  
'Well if I don't know the details, what am I supposed to do about it?' Buffy looked uncomfortable.  
  
'Nothing much, we kissed and then we talked.and then we kissed again and then we...' Buffy's voice trailed of.  
  
'And then what?'  
  
'We...we had sex', Buffy muttered. Angel eyes narrowed.  
  
'Anything else', he said trying to sound like this news didn't mean anything to him.  
  
'Well it was our first time since...since he was evil.' Angel looked like he'd been slapped.  
  
'What.since..you two slept together when he was evil!?' Angel shouted completely forgetting his calm attitude.  
  
'Yeah well things were difficult then and he made them simpler', Buffy said in a rather small embarrassed voice.  
  
'I can't believe I'm hearing this', Angel said to himself. Buffy rolled her eyes. 'Look that's all in the past now, when he got back thing's changed between us our connection got deeper and things started to get serious between us even though we weren't sleeping with each other anymore.'  
  
'By things getting deeper and more serious, do you mean you feel in love with him?', Angel said staring at Buffy, waiting for the answer he had been waiting to hear since he last saw her in Sunnydale.  
  
'Angel please just drop it ok, no one knows everything that happened between me and Spike except me and him and I'd like to keep it that way ok?' Buffy replied coldly.  
  
'What you embarrassed or something?' Angel said in an annoying voice.  
  
'No, I just think it's none of your business.'  
  
'That's what you said before; it's so annoying why can't you just answer the question?' Angel fumed.  
  
'Because..it's private and your not part of my life anymore ,you've been away so long it's like we're from two completely different universes now', Buffy explained.  
  
'So I guess that means I've missed too much for us to get back together?' Angel said sadly.  
  
'What?' Buffy said startled.  
  
'Well you know, I was hoping that maybe..I could enjoy cookie you.'  
  
'Whoa hold up a second, I never said we were getting back together I said sometimes I think what life would have been like if we'd stayed together but that was then..when I thought I was going to die', Buffy said.  
  
'Oh right so you just said it so you weren't completely giving me the brush off, you wanted to keep your options open huh?'  
  
'How dare you my options weren't open when I sent you away were they, I choose Spike as my champion so get over it already', Buffy spat.  
  
'How can I.you choose him over me, Spike, the idiot that I taught how to be really evil, the pathetic fool who thought he would be with Drusilla forever so I shagged her just to show who was boss (Buffy looked disgusted) the guy who was always beneath me in being evil in getting a soul after me, I always beat him ALWAYS and then you go ignore all the things I'd done and pick Spike who had a soul for like.how long a month?!' Angel laughed.  
  
'And you wonder why, Buffy said looking at Angel as though the sight of him made her sick, you did that to Spike you knew he loved her and you slept with her show who was boss.' Angel looked away.  
  
'I'm not proud of what I did, but that wasn't the point, the point was that I always had authority over him and I'd been doing good for about 100 years and when it came down to the end all that was ignored and you picked your lover boy', Angel said with his arms folded as though he was a spoilt child. Buffy opened her mouth but was interrupted by the screams coming from the hallway. Buffy and Angel looked at each other confused and ran out to see what was going on. A demon was holding a worker by the neck so his feet were dangling just above the ground and in one swift movement he snapped his neck and let him drop to the floor.  
  
'Where is Angel', the demon roared. Angel stepped forward  
  
'That would be me.'  
  
'I have a message for you', the demon said slowly. He looked down at Harmony and grabbed her and scratched his message into her. She screamed in agony but this only made him laugh harder, he threw her against the wall where she hit her head and slid down the wall unconscious, a puddle of blood around her. Angel stared, shocked. The message carved onto Harmony's stomach read  
  
'Meet us tonight at the cemetery, Midnight, bring Spike' Angel looked back to the demon but he had vanished. Buffy was kneeling beside Harmony.  
  
'How the hell did he cut her this deep' Buffy muttered.  
  
'Its claws were really sharp, it looks pretty bad, maybe we should get help', Angel suggested.  
  
'Well we don't really have time to wait for her to come round.'  
Later that day an hour before midnight they were still debating on what they should do. 'I say we go kick that demon's lousy ass', Gunn said.  
  
'We don't have nearly enough information on him to do that, besides there's probably going to be other demons and who knows what they'll do to Angel', Wesley argued.  
  
'Well we'll never find out if we don't go', Gunn retorted.  
  
'Guys, Angel said over them, we need to keep it together.we're going..if things get really bad we just have to get out of there.'  
  
'I think your forgetting that only you and Spike are allowed to go', Wesley reminded Angel still unconvinced.  
  
'Wesley we don't have a choice here', Angel said. Wesley fell quit, and after a minute he nodded reluctantly.  
Angel and Spike waited at the cemetery anxiously. The silence was almost deafening.  
Then out of nowhere a hand grabbed Spike around the mouth. Spike twisted the arm around and threw him over his shoulder.  
  
'Bloody hell', Spike said shaken. Angel stared down at the creature that was lying before him, it looked hideous. It had massive red horns and long red claws and a shrivelled looking face. It looked truly evil.  
  
'You're like the guy who almost bled Harmony dry', Angel said staring at its claws.  
  
'No he was just a messenger, I'm much much more than that I.'  
  
'Am more powerful than you can ever imagine, yeah heard it all before, Spike interrupted, so just cut to chase won't you..why did you want to see us.'  
Two other demons emerged from behind the gravestones. They formed a line. The one in the middle had an important look about him.  
  
'And you must be the boss'; Angel said walking up to him without a trace of fear or respect.  
  
'We are called Vargners.'  
  
'What?' Angel said looking blank.  
  
'You will call me Lord Vargner.'  
  
'Original', Angel muttered.  
  
'Yeah well Lord Vargner why-did-you-want-to-see-us', Spike said slowly as though he couldn't understand English.  
  
'We are with news, as I'm sure you know there is chaos in the world because of two vampires with a soul, one of you needs to win the prize and soon.'  
  
'Go on', Spike said eagerly.  
  
'We hold the real cup of mortality, the cup that if you drink from will restore you your mortality, there is confusion everywhere with both vampires and humans and it can not continue any longer, if it keeps up all the humanity in the world will fade.'  
  
'What does that mean', Angel asked.  
  
'It means humans will start lose their will to want to be good people and some of them will go and sell their souls to be evil..anyway the point is your both champions but only one of you can be rewarded for it, and it turns out that you don't get to decide who will get that reward.'  
  
'I thought we had to fight for it.'  
  
'I'm not stopping you from fighting but the reason the last time was a fake was because the key to it all was not there.'  
  
'The key?' Spike asked.  
  
'The one who must choose which one of you will shansue...that person must be someone you two share something for', Lord Vargner finished.  
  
'What?', Angel said completely confused but Spike understood.  
  
'Angel, Spike muttered, he means Buffy.' 


	10. Unfair

'This is insane, Buffy choosing who becomes human, that's so unfair it's obvious she's going to choose Spike he's gonna wrap her round his little finger with that sexy look he does and the sweet talk and.....', Angel fretted to Wesley pacing round the room.  
  
'I think you need to calm down, you stand a good a chance as Spike', Wesley said.  
  
'But Spike has been in her life for longer than I have, they've been through stuff together and all that time I was here in L.A....I'm such an idiot.'  
  
'Listen to yourself, now your being an idiot, for God's sake Angel pull it together man, you made the right choice coming here Buffy knows that and besides Buffy might not choose who she loves she'll choose who she thinks deserves it more.'  
  
'Well she gave the amulet to Spike didn't she, she sent me off with a maybe, and then went and slept Spike', Angel said bitterly.  
  
'Angel I'm sure Buffy will make the right choice, you've had a soul way longer than Spike and at the end of the day we all know who the real champion is', Wesley said calmly. Angel nodded, hope restored in him once more.  
  
'What we talking about', came Buffy's voice from the door. Angel and Wesley jumped. Angel opened his mouth trying to think of something but no sound came out.  
  
'You okay?' Buffy said frowning at him.  
  
'Yeah, yeah I'm fine', Angel said in a high voice that didn't belong to him.  
  
'Ok then anyway what happened at the cemetery, Spike's not saying anything it's like he's in a world of his own', Buffy said.  
  
'It's probably nothing I mean the cemetery thing nothing really important happened, it was just threats you know', Angel said awkwardly. Angel looked to Wesley for support.  
  
'Yeah nothing too important, but er we'll talk to you when we know more right Angel', Wesley said through gritted teeth.  
  
'Right, no problemo', Angel answered.  
  
'Ok then well let me know when your ready to tell me whatever your hiding, Buffy said.  
  
'We're not hiding anything', Angel said.  
  
'Do you think I'm stupid, you're acting a bit too cheerful for your normal brooding self, and it's worrying ', Buffy told Angel. Angel didn't reply.  
  
'Is it about me?' Buffy asked. Angel shrugged.  
  
'It was unclear', Angel muttered. Wesley let out a cry of frustration  
  
'Oh for God's sake Angel why don't you just tell her the truth, tell her she's the one who has to.....'  
Just at that moment there was a loud bang and Wesley was thrown back against the window.  
  
'She is not to know until the time is right', Lord Vargner shouted at Wesley.  
  
'How did you get here', Wesley gasped, he could feel the blood dripping down from his forehead.  
  
'We're always watching your every move, you make a wrong one and I will be there in a second to punish you', Lord Vargner replied staring at the window. Wesley could feel the window cracking behind him.  
He felt himself fall through the window and the wind rushing against his face as he plummeted down to the ground.  
  
'WESLEY', Angel yelled, and ran to the window. Lord Vargner waited until Wesley was about a foot away from the ground before waving his hand. Wesley stopped in mid air. He let out a deep sigh of relief as he saw how close he'd been to his death.  
  
'That was just a warning, I can do far worse', Lord Vargner threatened Angel menacingly. Angel stared in awe as Wesley floated back up to his office.  
  
'You ever do that again', Angel growled. Lord Vargner didn't reply so Angel spun around to find he'd gone. Now it was Angel's turn to cry out in frustration.  
  
'They always have to have the last word don't they, they never wait for you to reply', Angel said to himself.  
Meanwhile Spike was sitting alone doing some thinking. He heard footsteps and looked up, it was Harmony.  
  
'What do you want now', Spike sighed.  
  
'Nothing I just saw you sitting here all alone and I thought I'd come and talk to you cos I'm bored', Harmony said without taking a breath.  
  
'Got nothing to talk to you about', He muttered. Harmony pouted, Spike rolled his eyes.  
  
'What's going on between you and Buffy', she asked trying to sound offhand.  
  
'She's still getting used to the idea that I alive, but yeah things were going great until now', Spike replied.  
  
'Why aren't they anymore', Harmony asked. Spike didn't answer for a long while, but then decided that he might as well tell Harmony. He explained the whole story to her. By the end she looked completely blank, as though she had been slapped in the face.  
  
'Well that's........romantic', She said after a while.  
  
'Romantic?' Spike repeated staring at her.  
  
'Well yeah, she gets to choose her prince at the end and be with the one she loves', Harmony said choking. She wiped her eyes.  
  
'And the only reason I'm crying is because it's sweet.....because you and her it's just sooo, Harmony cast around for the right word, well anyway I'm sure it will all end great for you because your so much more better off with a slayer rather than one of your own kind', She sobbed.  
  
'Harmony.....' Spike started.  
  
'No, no you don't need to say anything you love her and not me you made that perfectly clear now if you don't mind I'm going to go now and find someone out there who appreciates me.' She stood up wiping her nose. Spike stood up as well.  
  
'Harmony I'm....I'm sorry.' (Harmony stopped crying)  
  
'You are?'  
  
'Yeah I know I've treated you like crap in the past but you and me was always a bit of a joke wasn't it (Harmony looked as though she might start crying again) but I appreciate you now and all the stupid things you do it makes me laugh but your right I never loved you and I'm sorry that you love me I really am but there's nothing I can do about it, all I can say is that you'll find someone, someone who loves you back because let's face it pet, you and me is never gonna happen.' 'So you do care about me?' Harmony said making sure.  
  
'Yeah I guess but I don't love you, I love Buffy but if I can be with her, that's a different matter.'  
  
'All you need to do is get her to choose you, I think she likes you I see you two making googly eyes at each other all the time.' Spike didn't say anything. There was an awkward silence between them, where they stood miserably thinking about their love lives.  
  
'Well I better go', Harmony said. Spike smiled at her and she kissed him on the cheek.  
  
'You'll always be my Blondie bear', Harmony said. Spike watched her walk away, what a nutter he thought to himself with weak affection.  
Spike saw Buffy walking towards him. His heart leaped.  
  
'What's she so happy about?' Buffy asked looking back at Harmony.  
  
'I broke up with her the way I should have done years ago', Spike explained.  
  
'You were going out with her?' Buffy said suddenly worried.  
  
'No but I told her I liked her but not in that way, I told her it's you I love she already knew but I wanted to tell her that she did mean something to me even if it's not the way she'd hoped', Spike said.  
  
'So I'm still the only girl in your life?'  
  
'You're the only one for me, you know that', Spike whispered. Buffy stroked his face.  
  
'I know', she whispered back. They were so close, their lips were almost touching.  
  
'Oi lovebirds get a room.' Buffy and Spike looked around to see who spoke. It was Dawn, she smiled at them.  
  
'Ahh look at you two', Dawn said looking from one to the other, still smiling brightly. Buffy chanced half a glance at Spike, he looked a little embarrassed.  
  
'We.....we still have a lot to work through nibblet', Spike muttered.  
  
'Well if you want me to go.....'  
  
'No it's ok', Buffy said.  
  
'No I think I'll go, you two obviously need to do the talking thing before you properly start going out', Dawn said quickly. Dawn suddenly realised that was the wrong thing to say, Buffy and Spike both looked overly awkward now.  
  
'Well I'm going before I make things even more awkward between you two', Dawn said and turned on her heel and walked away. There was a long silence between Buffy and Spike as they tried to think what to say next.  
  
'Er when you said we had a lot to work through.....'  
  
'I meant us getting used to each other being with each other, by with each other I mean in the same place, not.....', Spike trailed off.  
  
'We....er.....we do want to be with each other though don't we?' Buffy asked in a small voice.  
  
'I want to be with you more than anything but I think the question is do you want to be with me?'  
  
'I do want to be with you Spike but I want it to work because I couldn't bear it if we became a proper couple and then broke up because things became too difficult, do you know what I mean?'  
  
'Yeah I know, I'm scared because I want things to work between us so badly but on the other hand I'm a vampire and you're the slayer, and I burn if I go out into direct sunlight and you deserve a normal life and it's pretty obvious you can't have one if your with me', Spike said sadly.  
  
'I know, but you and Angel might become human.'  
  
'No there's no and it's me or Angel, only one of us will become human', Spike said.  
  
'I know but it's so unfair isn't it I mean your both great guys and you both deserve it so much but only one of you can have it.'  
  
'Who do you think deserves it more?' Spike asked tensely.  
  
'I honestly don't know, Buffy answered, Angel's had the soul for much longer than you have but you saved people even without a soul and you died for the world....and I know you saved me, a lot', Buffy added.  
  
'Oh come on you're the slayer, you didn't need saving', Spike said.  
  
'I didn't mean from fighting I meant emotionally....you brought the fire back into my life after I died, I was surrounded by all these people who loved me and I loved them and yet you were the only one who could make me feel, and after you got a soul all those times you stood by me even that night when I got kicked out you went out to find me and you made this beautiful speech about why you love me and then we spent the night in each other's arms and it was the most......it was the most touching thing I ever felt in my life', Buffy explained. Spike tilted his head to the side, studying her.  
  
'Wow that was......thanks Buffy that means a lot', Spike said tenderly.  
  
'Yeah your not the only one who gets to make touching speech's you know', Buffy laughed.  
A few meters away Angel stood watching them through narrowed eyes. There was no way he was going to lose Buffy to Spike. 


	11. Seperate Ways

'How is everything back in England, uh huh well that's good, and the slayers?' Giles asked.  
  
'Their doing fine', came Andrew's voice from the phone.  
  
'I hope you know that I am relying on you, Faith and Principal Wood to train them properly ', Giles said sternly.  
  
'I will train the boy', Andrew said putting on Obi Wan's voice. Giles sighed and took of his glasses and wiped them.  
  
'Y-yes well seen as there are no boy slayers I don't think......'  
  
'Do you watch Star Wars Mr Giles?' Andrew asked randomly.  
  
'Good Lord I cannot believe I left this man in charge', Giles muttered to himself.  
  
'What was that?'  
  
'Nothing, do you know how Faith and Robin are doing in Santa Monica?' Giles asked.  
  
'Nope haven't heard much from them, I know that their together', Andrew answered.  
  
'Yes we all know that Andrew, but I meant with the slayers, these girls are new to all this and I want to make sure they are trained to the best of my ability.'  
  
'How's Spike' Andrew asked. Giles held the phone away from him shaking his head in despair.  
  
'He's fine as far as I know, Buffy's been spending most time with him I've just been left with Wesley, it's amazing how much he's changed, we're all staying in different places though Willow and Kennedy are in a hotel down the road they stayed in Wolfram and Hart for about two days then left because it was getting a little cramped, Xander's staying at a hotel called Bridgeworth I'm not quite sure where it is but it's seems pretty near, I am actually going to meet him for a coffee today', Giles said.  
  
'Uh huh, Andrew said almost falling asleep, that sounds great but what about Dawn?'  
  
'She's here, sharing a room with Fred they're getting on great they keep jumping out from corners to try and scare me.'  
  
'Oh boy is that the time, Andrew laughed, what time did you say you had to go meet Xander again?'  
  
'I didn't say what time I had to meet Xander, but it's at 1:00pm today.'  
  
'Whoa better get a move on then its half past twelve already', Andrew said deeply relived he had found an excuse to get off the phone.  
  
'Bloody hell your right, well I better be off then, see you later Andrew and remember what I just told you about training the girls I....'  
  
'I know I know, today I'm gonna blindfold them and give them knives to see if they can get the target it's like that game you play over here with the picture of the horse and you have to pin it's tail....'  
  
'God give me strength', Giles pleaded.  
  
'.....Or it's like blind man's bluff ha I knew the name to that one.'  
  
'Just make sure they don't do it at the same time', Giles told Andrew.  
  
'Huh?'  
  
'The girls, make sure they don't walk around blindfolded with knives all at the same time or they could end up stabbing each other', Giles said impatiently. Andrew fell silent.  
  
'Oh dear Lord tell me you haven't put them in the same room', Giles said. Andrew cleared his throat importantly.  
  
'Erm just a moment if you please Mr Giles.'  
  
Giles hit his forehead with his hand.  
  
'Idiot', he said to himself, and he put down the phone. Giles put on his coat and headed out to meet Xander.  
Meanwhile back in Buffy's and Spike's room they lay on the bed together entangled in each other's arms.  
  
'Mmmm do you wanna go down and eat breakfast honey?' Buffy said croakily. Spike sat up.  
  
'Honey?'  
  
'What?' Buffy said still half asleep.  
  
'You just called me honey', Spike said.  
  
'Did I...oh well you have loads of names for me', Buffy replied not opening her eyes. Spike stared at her; she was talking to him as though they were a proper happy couple.  
Back at the coffee place Xander sat waiting for Giles. He couldn't believe Giles was late; Giles was never late for anything.  
  
'Sorry I got held up, I was talking to Andrew', Giles said breathlessly. Xander looked up; Giles was holding a stitch in his side and leaning on the table for support. Xander suppressed a grin.  
  
'Sit down then.' Xander pulled out a chair for Giles and he sat down.  
  
'How are things with Angel?' Xander asked.  
  
'Great never better, except for the fact I hardly ever see him.'  
  
'Wow that is great.'  
  
'Yeah but their so wrapped up in their own work, Wesley's been kindly filling me in on the details about the Shanshu thing', Giles said.  
  
'Why do you say that like it's a bad thing?' Xander said sarcastically.  
  
'He's smug about the fact he knows more, honestly I don't think I can spend another night there every time I walk down the corridors I think someone is gonna try and kill me, they've all got it in for us down there I don't know why Angel can work for a place like that, it's pure evil.'  
  
'He fits the job description well then', Xander joked. Giles smiled slightly.  
  
'How are thing's going for you?' Giles asked.  
  
'Ah not so good, I mean Bridgeworth hotel is all right but I'm having trouble paying the rent now I haven't got a job and I can't go back to Wolfram and Hart because I can't stand Angel plus it's awkward because of the Cordelia thing, I had no idea she was in a coma', Xander said. There was a long pause between them.  
  
'I miss Sunnydale', Xander blurted out.  
  
'Yeah me too', Giles agreed. 'Really?'  
  
'It was home', Giles muttered.  
  
'I know, I mean it's crazy cos I thought I hated Sunnydale but then sometimes I didn't and now, now I really miss all the good times we had there, I know we had a lot of bad times but I miss the little good moments you know, like when we were in high school and immature (Giles smiled) and just being together but these days we're hardly ever in the same place at the same time in England it was cool but we were still trying to track down the slayers so even then we were apart for a bit and now.....I dunno I feel like we've all gone our separate ways', Xander finished.  
  
'I believe that's called growing up.'  
  
'Or growing apart....no I didn't mean that we'll always be bestest buddies nothing can change that', Xander said defiantly.  
  
'What's the problem then?'  
  
'The problem is, there's nothing here for me so I'm leaving, I'm trying to book tickets so I can travel around the world, take my mind of things......of missing Anya.'  
  
'I'm sorry', Giles said.  
  
'Nah don't be there's nothing we can about it is there, she died a hero and that's the way she wanted to go', Xander said welling up.  
  
'I know you loved each other very much but there are other girls out there', Giles comforted Xander.  
  
'Hey that's why I'm taking a trip round the world', Xander laughed.  
Angel was busily sending of letters. It was boring and tiring but Number 5 was dead and no one had replaced him yet so Angel was stuck with the post.  
  
'Hey Angel any more news on the Shanshu thing?' Angel saw Fred standing by the door.  
  
'Hi Fred, no there's nothing more we know except it's not time to tell Buffy yet.'  
  
'Yeah Wesley filled me on that, can you imagine if that Vargner thing let him hit the ground, he would've died.'  
  
'I know, if that had happened I would've thrown Lord Vargner out of that window straight after', Angel said bitterly.  
  
'Angel are you ok?' Fred asked seriously.  
  
'I'm fine, why does every one keep asking me that?'  
  
'Because you're up to your neck in work and top of all that there's the Shanshu thing.'  
  
'I'll get through it and as for the Shanshu thing I'm just trying not to think about it.'  
  
'Well don't you think that you should start repairing your relationship with Buffy if you want......'  
  
'There's nothing to repair, me and Buffy will always share a bond, something which Spike doesn't even begin to come close to', Angel snapped.  
  
'I know but she's still doesn't completely trust you yet because your working for this place.'  
  
'What do you want me to do, quit, well news flash Fred I've already tried, their not having any of it.'  
  
'No all I want is for you to make an effort put your heart into the job', Fred sighed. Just at that moment a heart splattered against the window.  
  
'I didn't mean literally', Fred cried. 


	12. That's all we've ever done

'What the hell is going on out here', Angel demanded. Fred was holding back the man who ripped out his co-workers heart.  
  
'He started it', the demon growled.  
  
'I don't care who started what, why'd you rip his heart out?' Angel yelled.  
  
'It's what we do here if someone betrays us we punish them surely you know that......boss', the demon said smirking. Angel's jaw clenced.  
  
'What's your name?'  
  
'Vincent.'  
  
'Do anything like that again Vincent and your out of here', Angel warned him. Vincent frowned, he couldn't understand why Angel was angry about this was Wolfram and Hart after all. He gave Angel a dirty look and then left.  
  
'I hate this place', Angel said to Fred. They retreated back to Angel's office.  
  
'Fred!' Fred spun around to see who had called her. It was Knox.  
  
'Sorry if this is a bad time but I'm really up to my neck in work down there I need your help', He said.  
  
'Oh ok then I'll be down there in a sec', Fred replied.  
  
'And er I was also wondering if your not doing anything tonight we could go grab something to eat I know a good restaurant it's quite romantic', Knox added. Fred smiled and was just about to say yes but then she saw Wesley watching them.  
  
'I-I don't think I can tonight, sorry', Fred said her eyes still on Wesley. Knox looked around to see who she was looking at. When he saw Wesley he nodded, feeling thoroughly put out.  
  
'Oh right him well that's fine, if you want to do it another time', Knox suggested.  
  
'I'm sorry I just don't think we should because I don't want to hurt Wesley', Fred said.  
  
'That's fine your obviously interested in him, that's cool and what chance do I stand any way with both Wesley and Gunn after you', Knox said, he started to walk after him but Fred grabbed his arm.  
  
'You do stand a chance, I like you very much but Wesley and me, we get on so great and I'm kinda interested now in what that could devolp into', Fred explained.  
  
'Ok no problem, well I'll be down in the lab see ya in a minute', Knox said. Fred grinned. As soon as he'd gone she let out a long sigh.  
  
'jeeeesss what is with love triangles in this place', She said and she reluctantly followed Knox.  
  
'I really don't know', Angel muttered to him self.  
Spike and Buffy were taking a stroll together, it was night time.  
  
'It sure is good to get out of Wolfram and Hart', Buffy said.  
  
'Yeah, Spike agreed, hey do want to get some dinner?' Spike added after seeing a nice looking restaurant across the road.  
  
'Ok', Buffy said and they went in, sat down and waited for a waiter to take their orders. 'Hello, can I take your orders please', the waiter asked. Buffy and Spike stared down at their menu deciding on what to get.  
  
'Er can I have the Spicy Chicken with salad and fries please', Buffy said.  
  
'And er I'll have the same please', Spike said. The waiter smiled.  
  
'You two a married couple?' he asked.  
  
'What?' Buffy said making sure she'd heard him correctly.  
  
'No we're just.....good friends', Spike replied.  
  
'Oh, the waiter said but Spike could tell he didn't believe him, well I hope you have a good night and enjoy your meal.' He walked off.  
  
'Are we married, what a stupid question I mean can you imagine us married', Spike said laughing a bit.  
  
'Yeah with loads of fat grandchildren crawling around under the table', Buffy added laughing but stopped when she realised what she's just said.  
  
'What's the matter?' Spike asked. Buffy shook her head.  
  
'It's nothing.'  
They had a good time as they ate their meal and talked. Buffy found it was so much easier to talk to Spike then any other of her past dates. She could talk to him about almost anything and he'd sit and listen. He loved her so much, she could see it in his eyes, and it made her heart melt.  
After they'd finished dinner they were just about to leave when they saw couples going out onto the dance floor. The DJ announced it was time for every one to come up with their partners to dance to the slow love song they were about to play. Buffy and Spike looked at each other and then looked away.  
  
'You don't want to dance do you?' Spike asked. Buffy stared at him, Spike was asking her to dance, she'd never thought of Spike as the dancing type.  
  
'Er ok then', She replied blushing slightly. The walked up to the dance floor, took each other by the hand and pulled themselves closer together. The music came on and they stood slowly revolving on the spot, gazing into each other's eyes.  
  
'They told me they were just good friends', the waiter who had served them muttered to another waiter a few metres away, who were now watching Spike and Buffy dancing.  
Buffy remembered the conversation her and Spike had had when he was still evil and was teaching her how he'd killed the past two slayers.  
  
'You think we were dancing?'  
  
Buffy smiled to herself as she remembered Spike's reply.  
  
'That's all we've ever done.' 


	13. Choices

Buffy and Spike walked back to Wolfram Hart hand in hand. It was like they were a proper couple. Buffy leant her head against Spike's shoulder and he smiled down at her. He felt like there was a balloon in his stomach that was swelling up deep inside him, it was wonderful.  
  
'Their getting too close.'  
  
'They were always too close.'  
  
'True.....but I thought her not seeing him for months would go in our favour, instead their rebuilding their relationship.....and a lot quicker then we expected.'  
  
'What should we do about it?'  
  
'Get someone else to come in between them.'  
  
'I know just the person.'  
Buffy and Spike were outside each other's room.  
  
'Well goodnight then', Spike said.  
  
'Your not coming in?'  
  
'Nah I think I better get back to my room.'  
  
'Oh alright then, well I'll see you tomorrow', Buffy replied. Spike smiled weakly. A moments pause and then Buffy sighed and pointed at her room.  
  
'Well I-I should go', She stammered and turned and walked away. Spike stood there long after she'd gone.  
The next morning Buffy went out shopping with Willow and Kennedy and Spike was left alone with Giles. They sat at opposite sides of the room pondering on what to say.  
  
'Active day today isn't it', Giles said  
  
'Yeah', Spike sighed.  
  
'So.... Are you seeing Buffy tonight?' Giles asked randomly.  
  
'Yeah we all are, as soon as she gets back', Spike replied.  
  
'You know what I mean', Giles said impatiently. Spike frowned.  
  
'Er no I really don't think I do'  
  
'Are you taking her out?'  
  
'Not unless there's some business that needs doing, other wise I think it's a quite night in for us', Spike answered.  
  
'You two seem pretty close....'  
  
'We are.'  
  
'I hope you know what you are getting yourself into', Giles said seriously. Spike looked at the floor.  
  
'I know', Spike muttered.  
  
'No I don't think you do, Spike you and her make a lovely couple no one can deny that but you can't give her what she needs.'  
  
'I know that....I'm just trying to keep her happy', Spike said.  
  
'I think you do, I mean you give her something that Angel never could or tried to, you give her a reason to win.' Spike looked up, Giles held his gaze.  
  
'But she's not fighting evil any more so she doesn't need that, she needs a normal guy who she can have a normal life with', Giles added. Spike sat in silence for a minute; he knew he was right even though he hated it.  
  
'I had to give her up, Spike said croakily after a while, on the last fight I had a choice, it was like it was my final test I could die a hero or get the one thing I wanted beyond anything.....Buffy's love, and I said no....Buffy told me she loved me but I told her she didn't, I pushed her away, do you have any idea how hard that was for me', Spike said. Giles felt a sudden pang of sympathy and respect for Spike.  
  
'I know it must have been hard, but the fact that you chose to do the right thing even when offered the thing you desired more than anything made you a true hero', Giles said.  
  
'She made me a true hero, without her, I would probably still be in the basement and out of my mind, she helped me realise that it wasn't me who'd killed all those people in the past, it was the demon inside me, of course it still haunts me now and again but I carry on you know, she gave me a reason to live', Spike said.  
  
'You two rely on each other I know that, I told Buffy that when she was being selfish about you, she was blinded by her love for you....she does love you, she may have realised a bit late but I know that deep down she did love you and I know you love her, and you've proved it so many times, all I'm asking is that you prove it again', Giles said. Very slowly Spike nodded, unable to speak.  
Buffy returned to Wolfram and Hart with all the clothes she'd bought later that day. She went to look for Spike to show him the top she'd bought for him but couldn't find him, instead she found Giles.  
  
'Have you seen Spike?' Buffy asked him.  
  
'I think he went out for a walk.'  
  
'Oh', Buffy said thoroughly put out.  
  
'He should be back soon', Giles said.  
  
'Well if you see him tell him I was looking for him ok', Buff said. She rummaged through her bags.  
  
'I er I bought you a jumper, she handed it to Giles, I saw it and it reminded me off you.' Giles was turning it over in his hands,  
  
'Well this is.....this is really nice of you Buffy, thank you', Giles said.  
  
'I thought you'd like it, I bought Spike something too.'  
  
'Do you want me to pay you back for it?' Giles asked.  
  
'No no it's yours consider it a thank-you-for-everything present', Buffy replied. Giles smiled.  
  
'I really appreciate it.'  
Meanwhile Spike was out alone, walking. He was thinking hard about what to do.  
  
'Things would've been better if I just stayed dead', he muttered bitterly.  
  
'Now, now don't fink like that Spikey.' Spike spun around to see who spoke, and what greeted his eyes shocked him. Standing there watching him was Drusilla.  
  
'Dru', Spike whispered. Dru tilted her head to the side.  
  
'Is Spike shocked to see me?'  
  
'I think that's a bit of an understatement', Spike said.  
  
'Aren't you happy to see me?' Dru said looking as though she was a child about to cry. Spike rolled his eyes  
  
'What are you doing here Dru? Have you been following me?'  
  
'Maybe', Dru smiled.  
  
'Why?'  
  
'I have some friends they told me what's going on, old friends they are, also old friends of Angel', Dru answered.  
  
'I don't understand, Spike said, what did they tell you was going on?'  
  
'Shanshu does that ring any bells....playground bells were wringing and wringing, Dru said waving her hand above her head, never stopped, they did my head in.'  
  
'You know about the Shanshu?' Spike said ignoring her whining. Dru nodded.  
  
'Vampire friends know Vargners, they know lots of demons, but these aren't demons, their god's', Dru told Spike.  
  
'God's!?'  
  
'Yes Spike God's, why do you think their so powerful, they could rip you in half', Dru said.  
  
'Or turn me human.'  
  
'What happened to you, you used to be mine, my bad Spikey', Dru said.  
  
'I got a soul', Spike replied.  
  
'No you started changing long before that', Dru said.  
  
'I fell in love with the slayer, what can I say, it changes a guy.'  
  
'You realised a bit late', Dru muttered. Spike didn't reply.  
  
'It should have been me and you forever, but you messed it all up', Dru whispered into Spike's ear.  
  
'No you did you left me for a chaos demon', Spike argued.  
  
'Because you were falling for the slayer', Dru said.  
  
'I have something with Buffy that I never had, she changed me, she made me want to be a better man', Spike said. Dru pouted.  
  
'And now you are, you're the snivelling pathetic wreck you were when I first laid eyes on you', Dru hissed.  
  
'I can make you what you were, and we can be evil together like old times, just you and me, that way everyone gets what they want, Angel's friends, Me and you.'  
  
'That's not what I want', Spike said getting annoyed.  
  
'But it's what you are, your weak with a soul', Dru said stroking his face.  
  
'No it's not weak to go out every day and hold your head up high and try not to think of what've you've done, to tell yourself it wasn't you but to still hate yourself all the same.'  
  
'Do you hate yourself sweet William', Dru asked softly.  
  
'No not normally but sometimes reminders of what I've done will come up and I will hate myself all over again, but if you let your conscience take over you then you'll just go insane, I should know, when I first got my soul back I was crazy I loathed myself and I couldn't live with all the things I'd done but Buffy and principal Wood helped me out, I'm not so crazy now', Spike explained.  
  
'Your still a fool though.....foolish William, can't see past love, he'd do anything for the ones he loves, blinded by love just like your friend Buffy', Dru whispered.  
  
'You know when I remember how crazy I was when I first got my soul and now I see you, and I was nothing compared to you, your out of your mind Dru, seriously you need help.' Dru laughed coldly.  
  
'Not the only one', she cackled and with that she turned and strode off.  
  
'I'll be back to see if you've changed you mind, see if the fish swim the other way', Dru called back at him. 


	14. You always hurt the one you love

'Hello? Hello......who is this?' No reply, Angel slammed down the phone.  
  
'If they think they can scare me', he said, just then the phone rang again. Angel picked it up.  
  
'What do you want?' He yelled down the phone. He could hear someone laughing.  
  
'It's us Angelus', the person said laughing.  
  
'What? How do you know me.....or old me? Who are you?'  
  
'You'll find out tonight.'  
  
'Tonight? What happens tonight?'  
  
'You'll see, don't go anywhere, we know where Wolfram and Hart is, we'll see you there tonight 8:30pm.'  
  
'Wait....don't hang up, what.....' Angel started to ask but he heard the dial tone and put down the phone.  
  
'Who was that?' came Gunn's voice.  
  
'Oh it's you', Angel grunted.  
  
'You look happy', Gunn said sarcastically.  
  
'So who was that', Gunn asked again.  
  
'I actually don't know, Angel answered, they seem to know me though they knew my name was Angelus and they told me they'd meet me here at 8:30pm.'  
  
'Well that's suspicious do you want me to go tell Fred and Wes?'  
  
'Nah just leave it, I can fight my own battles thanks', Angel replied coldly. Gunn raised his hands above his head as though to surrender.  
  
'It was just a question Angel', Gunn said. Angel sighed.  
  
'I know it's just I'm fed up with people wanting to see me.'  
  
'Well maybe it's all connected', Gunn said. Angel looked thoughtful.  
  
'Maybe', Angel muttered.  
  
'Well best be off got some business that needs doing', Gunn said and he headed off. Angel watched him enviously, why couldn't he be as enthusiastic about his job as Gunn, they were doing the right thing working here weren't they? Yeah we are, Angel told himself confidently, its just Buffy's not open minded enough to see it, she would never risk beating evil from the inside.  
Spike was sitting alone, his head buzzing. He couldn't believe Drusilla was back in town, it just made things harder. And then there was the stuff Giles had said about doing the right thing and not being selfish. Spike put his head in his hands in despair, he couldn't think what to do, Giles wanted him away from Buffy and Drusilla wanted him evil again. No one wants me here, Spike thought, maybe it would be better if I just left. Spike heard footsteps and looked up, it was Buffy.  
  
'I was looking for you', she said sitting down next to him. Spike didn't reply.  
  
'Where've you been?' Again Spike didn't answer, the pain of seeing her here in touching distance but knowing he couldn't touch her was almost more than he could bear. Buffy frowned and leaned closer.  
  
'Spike......are you ok?'  
  
'I'm fine', Spike said finally.  
  
'Why were you ignoring me?'  
  
'I wasn't....I was thinking.'  
  
'About what?' Buffy asked.  
  
'Stuff, it's not really important', Spike replied. Buffy was having none of it.  
  
'You know you can tell me anything right', Buffy told him. Spike closed his eyes wishing she would disappear.  
  
'I know, it's just I got a lot on my mind right now and I don't really know where to start', Spike said.  
  
'How about from the beginning', she suggested.  
  
'The beginning is I love you, that's where it begins and that's where it ends', Spike said.  
  
'I already know that', Buffy said.  
  
'Well that's the main problem really', Spike said.  
  
'Oh so loving me is a problem?' Buffy said slightly hurt.  
  
'No it's the most wonderful feeling but it does cause a lot of problems in the world around that', Spike replied.  
  
'Well if it makes the world around it any better, I l......'  
  
'I gotta go', Spike interrupted. He and Buffy both stood up.  
  
'What?'  
  
'I have to go, I just remember something I have to do', Spike muttered.  
  
'I don't understand, can't you do it later?' Buffy asked.  
  
'No', Spike said shortly. He walked away, leaving Buffy standing there staring after him.  
From behind a tree in the darkness, Drusilla watched them.  
  
'You always hurt the one you love pet', Drusilla whispered. 


	15. Harsh Truths

Buffy went back to Wolfram and Hart feeling angry and confused. Why was Spike trying to avoid her? She hadn't done anything wrong, well it's his problem not mine, she told herself. She saw Angel walking up towards her.  
  
'Hey', she said to him.  
  
'Hey.'  
  
'You alright', he said after a minute. Buffy shrugged.  
  
'I suppose', she murmured.  
  
'Where've you been?' Angel asked.  
  
'I went out to find Spike and then when I finally did he was trying to avoid me.'  
  
'Well I always thought he was a jerk', Angel said. Buffy smiled slightly.  
  
'You know if he's causing you all this bother he really isn't worth it', Angel added walking up to her.  
  
'Yeah well you would say that', Buffy said.  
  
'Meaning?'  
  
'Meaning you can't stand each other, you're always trying to beat each other to things and I'm one of them things', Buffy replied.  
  
'Don't flatter your self', Angel muttered. Buffy raised her eyebrows and Angel faltered.  
  
'Ok, ok so you are one of them things but that's only cos we both love you not cos we're trying to take something from one another', Angel admitted.  
  
'Why though, why do you both love me I don't get it your vampires and I'm....'  
  
'The slayer', Angel finished for her.  
  
'Not the only one any more, but yeah I'm one of the slayers and me and you haven't been in each other's lives for ages and I don't get why you can't move on', Buffy said. Buffy realised a second too late that was the wrong thing to say, Angel looked hurt.  
  
'I didn't mean that rudely, Buffy added quickly, I just meant......what I said, what I mean to say is are you telling me there's been no one you've loved since me?' Angel thought for a second.  
  
'Cordelia', he answered. Buffy looked at him as though he wasn't being serious, when she saw he was she snorted with laughter.  
  
'She's grown up a lot you know, she's not shallow any more but our relationship was doomed, you're the only one that I stand a chance with.'  
  
'What makes you think you stand a chance with me', Buffy said indignantly.  
  
'You love me', Angel said simply. Buffy snorted with laughter again, but this time not because she thought it was funny.  
  
'I don't love you....I...I will always have a special place in my heart for you but that's about as far as it goes I'm afraid', Buffy told him.  
  
'Say what you want, but we're made for each other Buffy we both know that, so yeah we have our other relationships in between but in the end it's us, we can keep going in circles but we always end up in each other's arms', Angel said.  
  
'We never end in each other's arms, we end up on each other's lips', Buffy spat.  
  
'Whatever it shows we still feel for each other.'  
  
'I just got lost in the moment, Buffy said in a small voice, it was a hello that's all, I kissed Spike thousands of times when he didn't have a soul and I didn't love him then.' Angel couldn't think of anything to say to that.  
  
'Do you love him now?' Angel asked finally. Buffy cried out in frustration.  
  
'How many times, I'm not talking to you about me and Spike', she shouted.  
  
'Fine, fine it's just I don't know what you two had and I'm curious because you both make it out that it was something really special but you told me he wasn't your boyfriend', Angel said.  
  
'He wasn't, I've grown up a bit since I was with you, it was the biggest thing we've ever had to face I couldn't just be going out to the cinema with Spike.'  
  
'Did you even tell him how you felt?' Angel asked. Buffy looked away, and Angel smirked, he'd hit a nerve.  
  
'I tried to tell him and then when he was about to die I told him I loved him but he didn't believe me', Buffy replied.  
  
'I wonder why, Angel said sarcastically, he was about to die what was he supposed to think.'  
  
'I was telling the truth', Buffy said before she could stop herself.  
  
'Oh come on Buffy you never really loved him', Angel argued.  
  
'How do you know, like you said you have no idea what we have', Buffy said. It was Angel's turn to look away.  
  
'Ok, ok so you loved him, so what it was never the way you loved me I think it's fair to say that', Angel said.  
  
'No with you it was young love with Spike it was mature love', Buffy replied coldly.  
  
'Do you get off on hurting me?' Angel snapped.  
  
'I'm sorry', she muttered.  
  
'It's just I'm a little bitter that we had this thing where we could be a proper couple and I never got the chance with Spike until the last few days', Buffy explained.  
  
'That's why he hates me then, I thought it was cos he thought that you really were in love with me', Angel said now understanding.  
  
'Because even though he had you, he never had all of you', Angel added. Buffy nodded.  
  
'Glad we reached an agreement', Buffy said. Angel smiled.  
  
'No more arguing then?' Angel asked. Buffy returned his grin and standing on her tip toes she gave him a kiss on the cheek.  
  
'I'm sorry', she whispered. Angel smiled down at her.  
  
'ahhhh just the way it should be.' Buffy and Angel spun around. Two vampires were leaning against the wall trying to look cool. The one who spoke had a leather jacket on with studs down the arm. The one on his right was wearing a really tatty, long black coat and worn trousers with holes in them. Angel recognised them instantly, they were the friends of Drusilla (when she was human) that he'd killed.  
  
'Old friends', he murmured  
  
'I do believe we had a meeting arranged', the one in the leather coat said. Buffy looked from Angel to the vampires quizzically.  
  
'Who's the pretty bird', the tatty one said stroking Buffy's hair, she jerked away, grabbed his arm and sent him flying through the air, he smashed into the desk.  
  
'Touch me again and I'll kill you', Buffy warned him. The vampire looked horrified.  
  
'That's Buffy the vampire slayer', the other vampire said through gritted teeth.  
  
'Anyway I almost forgot to introduce myself in case you've forgotten, you asked us our name before you pinned us to the door, took pictures of us then sent them to Drusilla, then when she came to find us you tyed her up and made her watch as you sired us, you killed her dad though.....anyway my name is Christopher and this is Peter', Christopher said pointing at Peter who was lying in a sprawled heap on the floor.  
  
'I remember you', Angel muttered. Chris smiled.  
  
'Never got to thank you did I, its great being this powerful and eternal life an' all.'  
  
'I'm sorry', Angel said remorsefully.  
  
'Don't be it doesn't suit you', Chris replied. Peter heaved himself of the ground.  
  
'It's especially great being sired by the infamous Angelus, evilest vampire in the world, I think you must have passed some of it onto us cos (Peter laughed) we've done some pretty evil things', Peter said smiling, Chris smiled back at him.  
  
'I'm not the evilest vampire in the world anymore', Angel argued.  
  
'Nah your pathetic, too much of a wimp for us now, so naturally we want to help you', Chris explained.  
  
'What?' Angel said making sure he'd heard correctly.  
  
'Not to become evil again because we're having a good time we don't want to be bossed about by you, I've always been my own leader, but we want to help you win the shanshu thing', Chris told Angel.  
  
'Think of it as a thank you for making us what we are today', Peter said grinning lamely. Chris's jaw clenched.  
  
'We don't help people but we hate Spike so we decided to side with you, Drusilla obviously wants her old Willy back so we're helping her with that.....well we're not, but by making you human I'm sure that will drive Spike to the bad side.'  
  
'Spike's good now he wouldn't go over to the bad side for any reason', Buffy interrupted.  
  
'ooooohhhh touchy, I think you better watch her Angel she's getting a bit too protective over that bleached idiot', Chris said.  
  
'We've been watching you', Peter whispered to Buffy. Buffy rolled her eyes.  
  
'Bothered', she whispered back. Peter looked offended.  
  
'Stop hitting on her Pete she's Angel's bird, just like Drusilla is Spike's, Chris said, he even tried to hit on Drusilla, it was sick, Chris added in an under tone to Angel.  
  
'I'm not hitting on her, Peter argued, I was trying to scare her.'  
  
'Well your crap', Chris snapped.  
  
'Whatever, you know what I don't give a shit what you think, flirting never been your strong point has it?' Peter retorted. Chris ignored him.  
  
'Anyway about our offer......' Chris said turning back to Angel. Angel didn't say anything, it was very tempting, but how could he trust two evil vampires. Well they were scared of him so that was a start. Maybe they could help him, after all he could do with some help to beat Spike. He could see it now, him drinking out of the cup and being turned human, then seeing Buffy's glowing face and Spike lying on the ground, defeated and bloody. 


	16. All connected

~Hi every1, thanks for the reviews, is Angel pissing u off timeends (lol) well if he is, good mwahhhaaahhhaaa and u think Buffy wants to be Angel's bird? Hmmmm interesting. I'm not saying anything more before I spoil the story. Ok here goes......  
  
Dawn wondered up and down the corridors of Wolfram and Hart. It was so lonely. All the lights were out and the place seemed deserted, maybe it was just on this floor. In the distance she could see a light flickering, she approached it with caution. She was just about to turn the corner when she heard a creak on the floorboard. Someone was following her.  
Dawn froze, her heart thumping against her chest, very-very slowly she turned, her eyes closed praying it was Buffy or someone she knew wouldn't hurt her. She opened her eyes, but couldn't make out who it was in the pitch black. The person or thing took a few more steps forward so the broken light at the end of the corridor was flickering upon its face. Dawn squinted to see if she could see who it was and then her eyes widened as she realised it was Eve. She let out a long sigh of relief.  
  
'Bloody hell Eve what the heck are you doing creeping up on me like that, you almost gave me a heart attack', Dawn hissed.  
  
'Sorry', Eve whispered.  
  
'It's ok, just don't do it again ok.' Eve smiled.  
  
'It's not like you need to be scared of me', Eve said still smiling unnaturally.  
  
'What are doing down here anyway?' Dawn asked suspiciously. Eve looked a little uncomfortable for a second.  
  
'I was....taking a stroll, I saw someone walking around so I followed them to see what they were doing and it turned out be you', Eve said, she looked at Dawn as though waiting for her explanation of why she was walking around here.  
  
'Oh, Dawn said catching on, I was actually taking a stroll too, it's gets kind of boring round here and Buffy's too wrapped up in her life with Spike, so it's gets......', Dawn broke off shrugging, suddenly wondering why she was talking to Eve about Buffy and Spike. Eve was hanging on to her words though, looking mildly interested.  
  
'Lonely?' Eve finished for her. Dawn thought for a second.  
  
'Yeah but then everyone feels lonely now and again, but I miss the gang being altogether, heck I even miss the potentials', Dawn said laughing.  
  
'You miss worrying about how you're gonna defeat the first, ubervamps, bringers and Caleb?' Eve asked in disbelief. Dawn shrugged.  
  
'I don't miss the worrying but I miss having something to do, a reason for being here', Dawn said. Eve nodded.  
  
'Do you miss the vengeance demon?' Eve asked.  
  
'Ex vengeance demon, Dawn corrected her, but yeah I miss Anya, she was really funny, we had a great time trying to wake up Andrew', Dawn said remembering and smiling.  
  
'And I missed Spike too, we all did a bit, but obviously no one as much as Buffy', Dawn continued.  
  
'Yeah.....the infamous couple', Eve exclaimed. They stood in silence for a bit, they had both run out of things to say.  
  
'So I think I better head off, Buffy will be wondering where I am', Dawn said.  
  
'Ok, well it was nice talking to you Dawn, maybe I'll see you around', Eve said. Dawn quickly glanced at the light she was going to check out but decided that maybe she should get back to Buffy, so she walked off leaving Eve standing alone. Eve looked around to make sure she'd gone and then walked very slowly to the end of the corridor. She turned the corner, making sure no one was looking and continued walking, very careful not to make a sound.  
There. She saw the outline of them standing there, waiting for her. She jogged up to them.  
  
'Took you long enough', a voice growled from the darkness.  
  
'Sorry, I got held up.' Eve apologised.  
  
'We don't have time to waste waiting around for you', it snapped.  
  
'I told you I was sorry, anyway I don't think you should be talking to me like I'm your servant, maybe I need to remind you that we're all in this together', Eve said coolly. No one answered.  
  
'Where's Lindsay, wasn't he supposed to come with you?' Eve squinted to see who spoke it was like she was talking to herself.  
  
'Yeah he was, but he had some other business that needed doing so he had to go do that', Eve replied.  
  
'How is everything going?'  
  
'It's ok, senior partners have been keeping a close eye on them', Eve said.  
  
'Good if anything changes us let us know.'  
  
'Will do', Eve promised.  
  
'I was hoping the fact that Buffy is involved would make them more ambitious, throwing insults at each other isn't really what I was expecting, I was thinking more along the lines of fighting until the death', Eve said.  
  
'Well there's still time for all that, at the moment let's focus on the plan.'  
  
'Yeah, we always thought it'd be Angel but now Spike's in the game, Lindsay's very interested in what he's got to offer.' 


	17. Losing Control

Angel sat at his office, in deep thought. What should he do? He was quiet tempted by Chris's and Peter's offer, but he was already working for the evilest place to work, did he really want help from two evil vampires to win something good. And in the midst of that, he was scared, he wanted the prize very much yes, but a part of him didn't because he was scared of what it'd do to him, he remembered turning human for one day, one day as a human caused enough trouble but a lifetime..... Wesley came and sat next to him.  
  
'I heard about your offer, Gunn let me know about the phone call you got and then when I saw the vampire I went to Buffy for an explanation, she told me about them offering to help you', Wesley said quietly. Angel didn't look up.  
  
'I know it must be tempting but we don't know if we can trust these guys', Wesley said. Angel nodded politely.  
  
'Yeah (Wesley looked relived he wasn't angry) because I can so trust you guys', Angel said coldly. Wesley's smile faded. Angel was glaring at him.  
  
'I asked Gunn not to tell you', Angel said. Wesley looked uncomfortable.  
  
'Y-yes well he only told me.... he was worried Angel and I could tell so I asked him, he didn't want to tell me', Wesley said quickly. Angel shook his head.  
  
'You don't get it, you think you get a say in all this but you don't, this is my life, my choice and if I want help from vampires then that's my problem not yours, you have nothing to do with this', Angel growled.  
  
'We're your friends', Wesley reminded him softly. Angel swallowed and burrowed his head in his hands.  
  
'I'm scared Wes, I really am, I don't know what to do....who to trust and who not to, and then I don't even know if I'll be able to handle being human and then there's the Buffy choosing who it'll be and she just admitted she loved Spike so where do I fit into all this', Angel cried. Wesley gave Angel a look of deep sympathy.  
  
'You fit into all this because you're the true champion, it doesn't matter who Buffy loves, your the one who deserves it more because you've been doing this longer and I promise you Angel you will not walk away empty handed, I promise you', Wesley told Angel.  
  
'Thanks Wesley', he said gratefully .Wesley smiled and punched him lightly on the shoulder.  
  
'Don't mention it', he said. Angel watched Wesley retreat back to his office, truly grateful for the fact that he had friends like Wesley, Gunn and Fred by his side.  
Spike saw Angel sitting alone in his office so he approached him.  
  
'What's up with tall doctor forehead?' he said from the door. Angel looked up and saw Spike leaning against the door.  
  
'Go away Spike', Angel said weakly. Spike smirked and walked in.  
  
'Don't think so, you can't get rid off me that easy', he said.  
  
'What do you want?' Angel snapped. Spike paced up and down the room pretending to think.  
  
'Nothing really I saw you here sitting all alone so I thought I'd come and cheer you up', Spike replied.  
  
'More like piss me off', Angel spat.  
  
'Ok got me there', Spike agreed.  
  
'Please Spike I'm not in the mood for your jokes', Angel sighed.  
  
'I'm not joking', Spike argued. Angel rolled his eyes.  
  
'Whatever, I'm not in the mood for you let's just leaving it at that', Angel said.  
  
'Fine I get that, the dramatic poof needs to be alone so he can feel sorry for himself', Spike teased him.  
  
'At least I feel sorry', Angel retorted. Spike nostrils flared, and he gave Angel a furious glare.  
  
'You don't know anything about what I feel', Spike snarled.  
  
'Well why don't you tell me Spike, cos I seriously doubt your going through more CRAP than me', Angel shouted. Spike laughed.  
  
'Oh you have no bloody idea what I'm going through', Spike said, his voice quivering.  
  
'Oooohhh poor Spikey he's feeling all misunderstood, let's all feel sorry for him because he's the new kid on the block, he can be a good man, he can make a difference blah blah blah', Angel fumed.  
  
'The first bit about being misunderstood and let's all feel sorry for him is a good description of yourself mate', Spike replied coldly. Angel froze.  
  
'Get out', Angel said quietly but deadly.  
  
'No can do, you don't get to order me around like you do with those so called mates of yours', Spike said. Angel stood up very quickly, knocking over a vase that stood on his desk.  
  
'I told you to get out', Angel said through gritted teeth. Spike folded his arms.  
  
'And I told you I wouldn't', responded Spike.  
  
'I'm warning you Spike, you better get out of here', Angel threatened.  
  
'Make me', Spike said as though daring him to do something about it. Angel shrugged.  
  
'Fine' And Angel tore across the room and punched Spike square in the face. Spike staggered, holding his nose. He wiped away the blood then faced Angel, daggers in his eyes. Spike punched Angel back sending him flying across the room; he skidded along the floor, smashing into his desk. But Angel was back on his feet in a second and wrestling Spike to the ground, he was punching him and kicking him as hard as he could and Spike was trying his best to prevent it but it was no use, Angel had pinned him to the ground.  
  
'You (Angel punched Spike) think (Angel punched Spike again) your (and again) so (and again) good (Angel punched him one last time)' Angel rolled of Spike, who was laying there his eyes half open, barely conscious. 'But you're nothing less than that your filth Spike, you're not even worthy enough to be competition for me' Angel got up and looked down at Spike, then kicked him in the stomach, Spike let out a moan of pain but Angel ignored him and straightening his coat he stormed out leaving Spike a bloody wreck on the floor. 


	18. Protective

Buffy took a right turn. She was going to talk to Spike, and find out why he was avoiding her and where their relationship stood. It won't be so bad, she told herself completely unconvinced. She ran up the stairs and found Angel's office; she peered through the window and gasped. There lying on the floor beaten to a bloody pulp was Spike. She didn't even stop to think, she dashed into the room, a horrible knot tied in her stomach. She rushed to his side and kneeled down beside him. Spike's eyes were unfocused so she couldn't tell if he knew she was there.  
  
'Spike', her voice came out in a croaky whisper. Spike's eyes rolled and he blinked trying to see who spoke.  
  
'Spike, it's me, Buffy', she continued her voice barely above a whisper. Spike's eyes rested on where Buffy was kneeling  
  
'B-Buffy................your here', Spike choked out.  
  
'I'm here', Buffy said, her eyes filling with tears. Spike managed a weak smile.  
  
'Always.....count.....on......you', Spike said.  
  
'Yeah you can always count on me', Buffy reassured him. She waited for Spike's reply, nothing, instead he very slowly reached out his arm to find Buffy's hand, but he couldn't find it so Buffy lifted her hand and took Spike's hand. A moment passed between them, them just hanging on to each other, Buffy wiping away the blood from his nose, and mouth.  
  
'Who did this to you', Buffy asked eventually. Spike opened his mouth and closed it again.  
  
'Angel', Spike murmured.  
  
'Who?'  
  
'Angel', Spike said louder. Buffy eyes widened in shock.  
  
'Why what did you do?'  
  
'Nothing', Spike said his voice cracking, he found it offensive that Buffy immediately assumed it had been his fault.  
  
'Ok ok I was only asking', Buffy said.  
  
'The barstad completely lost it', Spike grumbled.  
  
'Why would he do that', Buffy said more to herself than Spike.  
  
'Pissed him off', Spike muttered.  
  
'What a prix' Buffy cursed.  
  
'I swear when I see him....' Buffy started. Spike smiled.  
  
'Don't bother, I'll sort him out', Spike promised.  
  
'But look at you, you're a wreck', Buffy objected.  
  
'I'll live', Spike replied. Buffy's hold on Spike's hand tightened, he looked at her. Their eyes met, and Spike noticed Buffy had the pleading look in her eyes, the same look that she had when she begged Spike to come out of the hellmouth with her. Spike looked away, closed his eyes and knew no more.  
When he opened his eyes again he found he was lying in a bed. His focus was still blurry and he strained his eyes to see where he was. He could hear voices but they sounded so distant. He tired to sit up, but a sharp pain shot across the side of his stomach and he lay back down, groaning in pain.  
Just outside Spike's room, Fred and Buffy waited.  
  
'I don't understand why Angel would beat him up that bad, he hadn't done anything to deserve it', Buffy said to Fred. Fred looked just as puzzled as Buffy was.  
  
'Yeah I don't get it either, Angel's normally a reasonable man, I guess he just lost it, I mean he has been going through a lot, there's rumours going around that he's had nervous break downs', Fred replied. Buffy shook her head. Just then they heard the sound of footsteps and looked around to see who it was. It was Angel. Buffy stormed up to him.  
  
'What do you think you were doing', she demanded. Angel looked away, ashamed.  
  
'He annoyed me', Angel said in a small voice. Buffy made a clicking noise with her tongue.  
  
'That's it he annoyed you, Buffy said in disbelief, you beat him into the ground and your reason....oh he annoyed me', Buffy said putting on his voice.  
  
'I'm sorry it was a stupid thing to do', Angel muttered.  
  
'STUPID, YEAH YOUR DAMN RIGHT IT WAS STUPID, SPIKE'S A WRECK', Buffy yelled.  
  
'He beat me into the ground once before too', Angel defended himself. Fred put up her hand to object.  
  
'Actually you both beat each other up, but that was when you were fighting for the cup thingy which turned out to be fake, I'm not saying it was the right thing to do but it was a good reason, loads of people get on my nerves but I put up with it, it's part of the job', Fred said.  
  
'No remember people don't get chances here, they kill someone I kill them, they annoy me, and I'll annoy them, basically what comes around goes around Fred', Angel argued.  
  
'You don't waste your time annoying people', Fred said.  
  
'No but this is different me and Spike kinda have a history of hating each other', Angel said.  
  
'Well you've been getting on alright, well you were until Buffy got here', Fred said.  
  
'We never got on', Angel interrupted.  
  
'Well you weren't being as hateful to each other as you were when Spike first got here', Fred replied. Angel rolled his eyes.  
  
'Look I said I was sorry', Angel cried. Buffy gritted her teeth, grabbed Angel by the collar and shoved him into the wall.  
  
'Sorry isn't good enough', she growled. Angel stared at her, but didn't try to break free.  
  
'Spike didn't do anything to you, there was no reason for you two to fight in the first place, but you beat the crap out of him (Angel suppressed a grin) and I'm warning you, do anything like that again, lay a hand on Spike and you'll end up just like him', Buffy threatened him seriously. Buffy gave him one last warning glare then let go of him and stormed off leaving Angel mouthing like a goldfish. Fred let out a long whistle.  
  
'Boy, you don't wanna mess with her.' Angel didn't say anything, he was pissed off that Buffy was being so protective over Spike, but then again she did love him.  
  
'Mature love', Angel scoffed. Fred frowned at him.  
  
'Don't worry', Angel said quickly.  
Shortly after it was just Angel left alone by the window, he peered in watching Spike twist and turn with narrowed eyes. Spike sat up slowly and looked around, he saw Angel standing by the window, arms folded. Spike felt a rush of hatred surging through his veins and he just wished he had the strength to run out there and smash him through that window. Angel held his gaze, then without a word or any expression at all he turned and left.  
  
'He doesn't even care; Spike said to himself, the stupid sod doesn't even care that if I was human I'd be in a freakin' coma right now.'  
  
'I know terrible isn't it', came Lindsay's voice. He had just opened the door on Spike's left.  
  
'What do you want', Spike sighed.  
  
'Nothing just came to visit my favourite vampire with a soul', Lindsay replied. Spike scowled.  
  
'Lucky me', Spike said sarcastically. Lindsay came and sat on the chair next to Spike's bed.  
  
'So how are you feeling?' Lindsay asked.  
  
'I'm feeling great, just great', Spike exclaimed with fake enthusiasm. Lindsay smiled slightly.  
  
'That's good to know I mean you must be ok as your sense of humour certainly hasn't gone', Lindsay said.  
  
'So where are all you visitors?' Lindsay continued to pester Spike.  
  
'What do you mean?' Spike asked sharply.  
  
'Oh you know your get well visitors....let's say Buffy for instance (Spike winced and Lindsay smirked)'  
  
'What about her, she's been here', Spike said defensively.  
  
'Oh really Where is she now then?'  
  
'Well I dunno do I', Spike replied getting really pissed off now.  
  
'Hmmm', Lindsay said studying Spike.  
Buffy made her way to Giles; she had to talk to someone. Giles looked up and smiled when he saw her.  
  
'Hello Buffy', he greeted her politely. Buffy strained a smile.  
  
'Erm I actually wanted to talk to you about something....' Buffy muttered.  
  
'Yes', Giles urged her on. Buffy opened her mouth but no sound came out.  
  
'Is it about Spike?' Giles asked catching on. Buffy looked up, relieved that he'd started her off so she didn't need to say that bit.  
  
'Yeah it is', Buffy replied. Giles nodded and waited for her to continue.  
  
'Er anyway about Spike....we er, I mean he's been beaten up by Angel as I'm sure you know but I.....I'm kind of confused', Buffy stammered.  
  
'About what?'  
  
'Everything really, I think there's something their not telling me then there's these vampires trying to help out Angel and then he suddenly goes and beats up Spike shortly after and.....', Buffy broke of shrugging, her throat was burning.  
  
'And it's confusing them both being here', Giles finished for her. Slowly Buffy nodded.  
  
'Yeah I mean I'm not saying I still love Angel because I don't....in that way but I care about him, a lot.....or at least I thought I did and I know I love Spike, I told Angel that and he just flipped and I don't even get why he still loves me anyway', Buffy said confused.  
  
'Well we mustn't forget Buffy that he's had quite a miserable life and he's not really allowed a proper relationship because it's dangerous because he could become Angelus again and you were the only person that he ever had a properly serious relationship with and it ended badly, you may be able to let it go but only because you had to, you had a mission, he didn't he was just doing right because he had nothing else to do, he had no life, no where to go, and no one to love, that's why it's harder for him to just let it go', Giles explained to her.  
  
'Just because he can't let go doesn't mean he should hope that I don't either', Buffy sulked.  
  
'You care a lot about Spike don't you', Giles said studying her.  
  
'Yeah I do', Buffy answered.  
  
'I've seen you two together, you'd do anything for each other', Giles added. Buffy nodded.  
  
'Then that's all that matters', Giles said firmly. 


	19. Change of Heart

'You wanna play another game?' Lindsay asked.  
  
'No thanks' Spike replied coldly.  
  
'We can make it more interesting and play for kittens', Lindsay said trying to convince him. Spike threw him a dirty look. 'Sorry', Lindsay murmured.  
Giles speed up as he came to where Spike was supposed to be he ran up to the door and saw Lindsay was in there with him, dealing some cards. Giles hesitated then knocked on the door. Lindsay jumped out of his seat and rushed over to open it.  
  
'Hello you here to visit Spike?' Lindsay asked at once.  
  
'Y-yes I am actually', Giles said. Spike raised his eyebrows, out of all the visitors he would have expected he might get Giles certainly weren't one of them. Lindsay moved out of the way to let Giles in and waited by the door for Giles to go over and speak to Spike but Giles remained where he was.  
  
'I er I would prefer to speak to him alone if that's all right', Giles said to Lindsay. Lindsay smile faltered but he didn't argue and reluctantly left the room. As soon as he'd gone Giles came over and sat next to Spike. Spike waited with baited breath for what Giles was about to say. Giles was having trouble finding the right words.  
  
'Well first of, I want to say I was wrong about you and Buffy', Giles said finally. Spike perched up listening intently.  
  
'You two do need each other and I was stupid to think that she'd be better off if you left just like I was stupid when I er (Giles coughed) let Robin try to kill you.....and I want to say that I'm sorry I dumped that choice on you and made you feel guilty but something good did come out of it I realised that you would do anything for Buffy if you thought it would benefit her in the long run and erm I'm sorry I haven't been the most acceptant person about your relationship', Giles said.  
  
'Ok......is that er all?' Spike asked.  
  
'Yes that's all', Giles replied. He stared at Spike waiting for his reply but Spike was lost for words.  
  
'Er well I guess I say thank you', Spike muttered. Spike and Giles sat in an awkward silence for a minute.  
  
'What made you change your mind', Spike asked quietly after a while.  
  
'Seeing Buffy, when your hurt she's hurt', Giles replied.  
  
'I didn't want to be the cause of breaking her heart again the girl deserves someone who will look after her and be by her side no matter what and I guess you've proved that you'll stay by her side more than any of us', Giles added.  
  
'Is Buffy mad at Angel?' Spike said.  
  
'You have no idea, Giles exclaimed, I remember when I tried to kill you she was furious at me and when I said I was trying to do the right thing she said no I think you've taught me everything I need to know and then she slammed the door in my face, she was cold with me after that for ages.'  
  
'I didn't think she loved me you know', Spike said seriously, Giles stared.  
  
'When she told me I honestly thought she was just saying it but now.....I don't know what to think, I mean everyone keeps telling me she loves me but I haven't heard her say it.'  
  
'Ask her because Buffy doesn't use those words lightly, she has to really mean it and I assure you no matter how much you'd done for her in the past she wouldn't be able to look you in the eye and tell you she loved you if she didn't mean it.' When Spike didn't say anything Giles shifted uncomfortably.  
  
'She er she did look you in the eyes right?' Giles asked.  
  
'Yeah she did, she held my hand and our hands caught fire but she wouldn't let go, then she told me but I told her she didn't but I thanked her saying it anyway, she didn't argue she just looked at me as though she was proud of me but then she had to go....', Spike replied, pain shining in his eyes.  
Just then they heard someone approach the door and they looked up. It was Buffy she was staring at Spike in a meaningful way Spike could feel her pity for him. Giles cleared his throat.  
  
'Well I better go and leave you two to talk things through', Giles said and with that turned on his heel and left them alone. Buffy slowly walked over to Spike, wordless.  
  
'So....' Spike said trying to make a conversation. Buffy sat down next to Spike, staring at her feet as though fascinated by them. Buffy bit her lip then forced herself to look up at Spike.  
  
'How are you feeling?' Buffy asked. Spike shrugged.  
  
'So so, he replied, pretty much all my body aches but I'm sure that'll go away in a few days.' Buffy smiled weakly.  
  
'I er....I talked to Angel, he won't touch you again', Buffy promised him. Spike grinned at her.  
  
'Yeah kinda figured that by your shouting', Spike said.  
  
'I'm sorry I didn't mean to wake you up', Buffy apologised.  
  
'Oh no I was awake anyway', Spike said quickly. Buffy nodded, the corners of her eyes were burning Spike noticed this and took her hand in his.  
  
'Look I'm alright', Spike told her.  
  
'I...I know it's just I'm......I dunno....I dunno what's wrong with me', Buffy said trembling. Spike frowned.  
  
'There's nothing wrong with you', Spike said. Buffy wiped her eyes.  
  
'I don't think I can cope with this anymore I mean you and Angel being in this big conflict and there I am in the middle of it all, you two bring out the worst in each other and I'm pretty sure most of that is because of me', Buffy said.  
  
'Hey, Spike said lifting her head up so she was facing him, none of this is your fault me and Angel have hated each other for centuries ever since he slept with Drusilla and tried to take her away from me', Spike said spitefully.  
  
'Yeah but you both love me and me being here is gonna cause you two beat the crap out of each other than I'd rather leave', Buffy said.  
  
'Don't blame yourself it's between me and Angel', Spike tried to convince her but Buffy shook her head.  
  
'No Fred said that things had being going on alright until I came back into the picture', Buffy argued.  
  
'But we used to argue over you anyway', Spike said.  
  
'Plus there's something your not telling me', Buffy added. Spike avoided her eyes.  
  
'What?' Spike said pretending he didn't know what she was talking about.  
  
'Oh come on Spike, Buffy said rolling her eyes, you avoiding me, the vampires....'  
  
'We've told you one of us is going to shanshu if the prophecy if real and if vampires wanna help out Angel then that's not really that suspicious', Spike said. Buffy raised her eyebrows.  
  
'Oh really well why were you trying to get away from me the other day and you said that I was the problem or something' Buffy demanded. Spike paused for a minute then decided there was no point lying to her.  
  
'Me and Giles had a little chat he thought it would be best if I left and the things he said kinda got to me because I knew he was right but when he was here just a minute ago he told me he'd made a mistake and he thought I should stay.....for you', Spike explained, Buffy didn't know what to say, she was shocked and had so many questions but didn't know where to start.  
  
'So you're staying?' Buffy asked making sure. Spike nodded.  
  
'But you were going to leave?' Buffy said, hurt.  
  
'I thought about it', Spike admitted.  
  
'But your not now', Buffy said making sure.  
  
'Nope I'm here to stay pet', Spike answered.  
  
'And the vampires?', Buffy asked.  
  
'Now that I'm not sure about that I dunno why any vampires would want to help out someone else no matter if they sired them or not', Spike said truthfully.  
  
'They said they were friends of Drusilla and Angel killed them to torture her', Buffy said looking for a reaction from Spike.  
  
'Drusilla well that doesn't add up why would they be here', Spike said not looking at Buffy.  
  
'Maybe Drusilla is nearby too', Buffy suggested. Spike winced.  
  
'Why would you think that', Spike said a little too quickly.  
  
'I don't know but the vampire guy said that they were helping Drusilla get you back', Buffy muttered. Spike desperately tried to think of something to say but all he could think of was she suspects something, maybe she knows Drusilla is back in town.  
  
'Spike....' Buffy said jolting him back to his senses.  
  
'Er...yeah well....um......that's weird', Spike said lamely.  
  
'Just a little', Buffy said sarcastically.  
  
'So their helping out Angel and Drusilla', Spike checked.  
  
'Yeah', Buffy replied.  
  
'Well I can't see where I come into this', Spike said laughing nervously.  
  
'Spike do you know anything about this....' Buffy said studying him.  
  
'No no of course not, w-why would you say that', Spike said in a high voice that didn't belong to him. But Buffy wasn't buying it.  
  
'I know your not telling me something I can read you like a book', Buffy said.  
  
'Well maybe there's a very good reason I'm not telling you', Spike snapped.  
  
'So there is something.....' Buffy said. Spike didn't answer so Buffy didn't pester him any further.  
  
'Fine whatever don't tell me', Buffy said angrily and she turned to leave.  
  
'Buffy wait', Spike called after her, Buffy stopped in her tracks but didn't turn around.  
  
'Yeah', she said coolly.  
  
'I've told you mostly everything except that I saw Drusilla she's back in town.....and that's it', Spike told her. Spike waited intently t hear whether she believed him or not, he couldn't tell her that she had to choose who was going to shanshu because of what happened to Wesley when he was about to tell Buffy. Then it hit Spike, why hadn't Buffy mentioned anything about that before she'd been there when Lord Vargner had made Wesley fall out of the window.  
  
'Spike are you alright?' Buffy asked noticing something was up. Spike's mouth was half open.  
  
'I....I just remembered something I need to talk to Angel now', Spike said and he ran out of the room leaving Buffy feeling even more confused. 


	20. Voices

'Angel I need to talk to you.'  
  
'Well I'm kind of busy right now can't we.....' Angel began.  
  
'Now!' Spike yelled. Angel stared at him trying to suss out why he was so stressed, finally he nodded and dismissed the worker.  
  
'This better be important Spike I was just about to ask that man why he hasn't been turning up to work', Angel said.  
  
'Look I don't have time for this I need to know something', Spike cut him off impatiently  
  
'What?', Angel asked.  
  
'You know when Lord Vargner came and made Wesley fall out of the window Buffy was there right?', Spike said.  
  
'Yeah', Angel said slowly wondering what he was getting at.  
  
'Well then how comes she hasn't mentioned anything about it', Spike said. Angel frowned and tried to remember her saying something but couldn't, Angel looked back up at Spike, shocked that he hadn't noticed this before.  
  
'Yeah see what I mean she ain't said anything about it', Spike said as he saw it dawning on Angel's face.  
  
'Maybe she didn't want to think about it', Angel suggested. Spike gave him a withering look and Angel fell silent.  
  
'She would be pestering us about it', Spike said.  
  
'I'll talk to Wesley about it', Angel said and was about to leave but Spike stopped him.  
  
'Um there's one more thing, Spike muttered, three days ago when I was out wondering I had a visit from Drusilla and she told me they were gods.' Angel's jaw dropped he looked like he'd been slapped.  
  
'Why didn't you tell us', Angel said through gritted teeth starting on Spike.  
  
'Well I didn't want to talk about I had other things on my mind', Spike said defensively.  
  
'LIKE WHAT!?', Angel bellowed.  
  
'Stuff', Spike replied feeling more and more stupid by the minute. Angel let out a fake laugh.  
  
'Stuff, Angel repeated in fury, you didn't tell us that we were dealing with gods because you had 'stuff' on your mind.'  
  
'I'm sorry I didn't feel like sharing with anyone that Drusilla was back I guess a part of me didn't want to believe it myself', Spike said. Angel ran his fingers through his hair in frustration.  
  
'I could kill you right now', Angel insisted  
  
'Go ahead and try it won't solve anything', Spike spat.  
  
'No but it'll make me feel a whole lot better and safer', Angel retorted.  
  
'Look I said I was sorry I'm not saying it again and anyway I don't even know if Drusilla was telling the truth', Spike replied.  
  
'You still should have told us', Angel said in despair.  
  
'I know', Spike growled. Angel shook his head in disgust and threw Spike a dirty look, turned on his heel and stormed out. Spike didn't try to stop him this time.  
Dawn saw Buffy walking all alone with her arms folded, looking lonely. Dawn ran to catch up with her.  
  
'Hey Buffy', Dawn called. Buffy spun around and smiled when she saw who it was.  
  
'Hi Dawn', she said.  
  
'Where are you going?' Dawn asked curiously. Buffy shrugged  
  
'Not sure really', Buffy replied.  
  
'Giles told me what happened to Spike is he going to be alright?'  
  
'Yeah....I mean I think so', Buffy said not really paying attention.  
  
'Angel beat him up pretty bad huh?' Dawn said.  
  
'Oh yeah', Buffy replied raising her eyebrows.  
  
'About time someone did it', Dawn growled. Buffy halted and stared at Dawn.  
  
'He's always out for himself thinking he's the best and it's about damn time someone took him down a peg or two', Dawn continued bitterly, Buffy's mouth was hanging open now she couldn't believe Dawn was saying this. Dawn turned to face Buffy smiling in an odd way.  
  
'Oh I'm sorry I forgot you love him', Dawn apologised in a baby voice.  
  
'What's wrong with you?' was all Buffy could say. Dawn laughed in a cold high pitched laugh that sent shivers up Buffy's neck making her hair stand on end.  
  
'What's wrong with me... don't you mean WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU!!!' Dawn screeched.  
  
'Why are you being like this', Buffy cried backing away.  
  
'What you don't like it, Dawn said, can't handle it can you me saying all this cos you know it's the truth.' Buffy backed into the wall shaking her head.  
  
'You don't know what your talking about something must be possessing you', Buffy said reassuring herself. Dawn tilted back her head and laughed that chilling laugh again then rolled her eyes.  
  
'No I think I'm finally seeing things clearly for once', Dawn hissed.  
  
'Dawn you have to snap out of it', Buffy pleaded.  
  
'Snap out of this', Dawn yelled and slapped Buffy hard across the face. Buffy glared at her she'd gone too far now.  
  
'I don't want to have to hurt you Dawn', Buffy said seriously.  
  
'Ok then I'll hurt you first', Dawn replied tonelessly. She raised her hand but Buffy was ready this time and grabbed her arm and twisted it so Buffy was in complete control, Dawn whimpered a bit but Buffy didn't let go.  
  
'Ok ok I won't do anything now will you just let me go', Dawn said squinting her eyes in pain. Buffy let her fall to the floor where she lay for a minute holding her arm.  
  
'I'm gonna find out who did this to you and when I do I'll kill them', Buffy said dangerously. Dawn heaved herself of the ground still holding her arm.  
  
'Spike's the one that needs killing, no wait I don't want you to do that he's mine all mine so why don't you go find some other dead guy to be with', Dawn snarled.  
  
'He's what?' Buffy said startled. Something seemed to tighten in Dawn's face as though she realised a little too late that she'd said the wrong thing but she looked confused all the same.  
  
'Why did you tell me to kill him if you want him for yourself', Buffy asked her suspiciously.  
  
'I.....I don't know', Dawn said truthfully and for the first time Buffy heard Dawn inside her. She grabbed her by the shoulders.  
  
'Dawn', Buffy whispered. Dawn snapped out of it and pulled herself away.  
  
'Don't touch me bitch', Dawn said furiously. Buffy arms fell to her side in disappointment she had been so sure that just that moment she saw a trace of her sister.  
Just at that moment Dawn staggered forward as though she was about to faint, Buffy grabbed her to stop her and Dawn looked at her, her eyes were rolling again and she looked truly sick. Dawn wavered for a second then vomited all over the floor.  
  
'Dawn.....Dawn are you ok?' But Dawn couldn't answer, Buffy sounded so far away, she wanted to tell her she was here but she couldn't see her or reach out to her.  
But she could hear other voices, voices in her head but they sounded so close they were spinning in her head until she couldn't bear it any longer and she felt herself falling through icy cold water and she heard the voices no more..... 


	21. Not gonna loose you again

'I'm fed up of this, their in complete control and their just playing us like we're their lap dogs or something', Buffy said angrily. Angel stood in silence, arms folded. No one spoke for a while then...  
  
'Your right, Angel said hoarsely (everyone turned to stare at him) your right about it all I was stupid to think I could change the system from the inside Wolfram and Hart is an evil place, always has been always will be they don't give a damn about us and by staying here and trusting them we're playing right into their hands and I've had about as much as I can take from them trying to screw us up', Angel said bitterly.  
  
'Caught on have you well it took you long enough', Giles said coldly. Gunn and Wesley glared at Giles.  
  
'I keep trying to explain to you Angel we're doing good here we.....' Gunn began but Angel held up his hands to stop him.  
  
'No-no you don't understand they've warped your mind I can't believe how much you've changed since you've been here', Angel told him.  
  
'Well you haven't exactly been doing much to get out of here have you, you've just complained a few times and that's it so don't you tell me I'm warped because your just as bad', Gunn retorted.  
  
'I've been trying to tell you lot since the beginning that you can't change a place like this from the inside, it changes you', Spike chipped in. Angel spun around and the frustration in his face was so strong that for a second it looked like he might burst into tears.  
  
'I'm just trying to figure it all out who's doing what and why', Angel said desperately.  
  
'No need I know who it was, it was Drusilla.' Everyone spun around and saw Dawn standing in the doorway, wearing a long white nightdress and looking extremely tired and worn.  
  
'Dawn your awake', Buffy cried and ran over and hugged her.  
  
'Yeah', Dawn said croakily looking a little embarrassed.  
  
'What do you mean it was Drusilla?' Angel asked.  
  
'She's just woken up Angel give her a break', Buffy snapped. But Dawn shook her head.  
  
'No I need to say it now, the people that were possessing me was Drusilla I could hear her voice in my head but it just sounded like my own voice you know she was supposed to get you to kill Spike but she couldn't carry it through so she changed her mind and tried to make you hate him and leave him so she could have him but then the other guys......'  
  
'Wait other guys?' Angel interrupted.  
  
'Yeah these two other guys I think they were those vampires that visited you, anyway they started arguing with Drusilla because the plan was for me to convince you to kill Spike and Drusilla wasn't obeying by that so they started shouting at each other and it all became too much for my head so I passed out', Dawn explained.  
  
'But you're alright now?' Spike checked. Dawn nodded.  
  
'I think it's still best if you get some more rest', Fred suggested but Dawn pushed her away.  
  
'No...no I've been out of it for about 10 hours already', Dawn said.  
  
'Actually it's only been 5 hours', Fred corrected her.  
  
'Whatever, I'm not going back to bed this is too important', Dawn replied.  
After about half and hour the all departed. Angel left with Wesley and Gunn, they had all reached an agreement that staying in Wolfram and Hart was the best way ( When Giles rolled his eyes and made a clicking noise with his tongue) Dawn went with Fred down to the lab, Giles went to call Willow and Buffy headed of with Spike.  
  
'I wouldn't have let her convince me to kill you', Buffy told Spike. He smiled.  
  
'I know', he muttered.  
  
'Or leave you, Buffy added, and I just want you to know that I'm not gonna let anything happen to you..... or Dawn or anyone for that matter.'  
  
'Neither will I', Spike agreed.  
  
'You mean too damn much to me for me to loose you again', Buffy went on, her eyes wide and serious. Spike stroked her face.  
  
'You won't loose me', He promised.  
  
'We'll see about that.' Spike frowned, it wasn't Buffy who spoke and then it dawned on him.  
  
'What are you doing here Dru?' Spike said calmly, slowly turning around to face her.  
  
'I did say I'd come back to see if you'd changed your mind about our little chat', Dru answered.  
  
'I'm not going to be evil again Dru I thought I'd made it clear enough', Spike snapped.  
  
'But you didn't think it through it would work out fine me, you without the pesky soul and we could spread havoc around the world we wouldn't need the help of anyone it would be just like old times', Dru said.  
  
'Oh yeah and I miss them old times so much, going around torturing and killing people yeah those were the good old days', Spike said sarcastically.  
  
'Pity now you have to live with it all', Dru said sympathetically.  
  
'Yeah it is', Spike agreed.  
  
'Well then if you lose the soul then you won't have to', Drus said simply.  
  
'Get lost Dru', Spike spat. Dru grimaced her eyes shining with malice, and then her eyes fell on Buffy. Effortlessly she punched Buffy and sent her flying.  
  
'BUFFY!' Spike yelled and ran over to see if she was ok.  
  
'I'm ok', Buffy muttered letting Spike help her up. Dru was cackling with laughter.  
  
'Oh Buffy are you ok, my dearest beloved Buffy let me help you up you poor defensive less cow', Dru said imitating Spike. Spike looked murderous. Dru clicked her tongue.  
  
'Come and get it William the bloody', Dru teased him. Spike charged at her and tried to punch her but she ducked then punched him. Spike turned his head very slowly back to face Dru; he smirked as he wiped the blood away from his nose.  
  
'That the best you got', Spike said challenging Dru. Dru tried again but Spike blocked it and hit her twice across the face then kicked her in the stomach which sent her skidding across the ground. Buffy went over and pulled Dru to her feet then sent her flying into the wall with one punch. Then Buffy pinned her up against the wall and hit her over and over. Dru fought her off, kicking her and punching her. Spike went over to help and together Drusilla stood no chance.  
Buffy pulled out her stake........ 


	22. Torment

~Hi all, I just want to say a special thanks to Jessica Charette for her lovely email and review. It means a lot and I dedicate this chapter to you~  
  
'NO!' Dru screamed and she grabbed the stake that was inches away from plunging into her heart. Dru's face screwed up in the effort of trying to prevent Buffy from staking her. Buffy and Dru wrestled for a few minutes, Spike stood watching and ready to back up Buffy if anything happened.  
  
'You think you can kill me that easy', Dru panted.  
  
'Who said it was easy', Buffy growled. Dru decided to risk it and she let go of the stake and rolled over, she felt the stake dig into her and knew it was all over.  
She could see Buffy standing over her....wait a minute if she could still see Buffy then she couldn't be dust. Dru looked down at where the stake was, it had just missed her heart. Dru laughed insanely then leaped to her feet ignoring the blood pouring from her wound.  
  
'Don't you ever die', Buffy said exasperated. She looked over to Spike and he nodded, then they faced Dru and charged towards her with everything they had and the struggle continued.  
Giles sat down with Angel.  
  
'What did she say?' Angel asked.  
  
'Not much really I told her everything about the Vargners and the vampires and Drusilla and she said she'd be here in about an hour', Giles responded.  
  
'Ok then, well there's not much else we can do but wait then', Angel said.  
Dru was running as fast as she could, she could hear Buffy and Spike gaining on her but she kept running there was no way she could take on both of them when she could barely take on of them on. She zig zagged around drunks that had just emerged from pubs leaving them standing there shouting abuse after them. Dru resisted the temptation to go back and snap every single one of their necks.  
She saw an alleyway where she made a quick turn. She heard the footsteps of Buffy and Spike and pressed herself against the wall praying they wouldn't see her. But before she could see if the did she felt two hands grab the scruff of her top and pull her backwards into some rusty, old building. They fell back and went crashing through the floor, dust surrounding everywhere.  
Spike stopped and sniffed.  
  
'She's definitely near', Spike confirmed. Buffy went off to search the area but could only find an old building which was falling apart; little did she know that under the rubble Dru and someone else lay.  
  
'I don't believe it.....she got away....again', Buffy said in disbelief.  
  
'Ah don't worry about it, she'll be back Dru maybe crazy but she can be quite clever sometimes, she's not like other vampires.....she knows more.....about being evil, about everything really so she's bound to be harder to kill', Spike told Buffy.  
Dru rubbed her stinging eyes the dust was engulfing them.  
  
'Who are you?' she called out.  
  
'Dru it's me', came Chris's voice.  
  
'Where... Peter he should be here I asked him to bring me roses they make it smell nice but all I can smell is anger and it's coming from me', Dru growled grabbing Chris by the neck and lifting him off his feet.  
  
'Dru.....' Chris choked. Dru licked his face and let him drop to the ground. Chris got up holding his neck.  
  
'What are you out of you mind', Chris cried. Dru blinked innocently.  
  
'No don't answer that', Chris added after a second.  
  
'Why don't you answer me I don't want to be evil, I won't let it take me....but I did I did been a bad girl but I'm loving it makes a nice change don't you think?', Dru said. Chris stared at her in amazement.  
  
'Whatever, anyway straight to the point I just saved your ass from being dusted by the slayer aren't you gonna thank me', Chris said. A grin split across Dru's face and Chris took it as that meant thank you.  
  
'They must know about us possessing the slayer's little sis', Chris continued pacing up and down.  
  
'You won't kill my William will you?' Dru asked.  
  
'Will you shut up about him', Chris bellowed.  
  
'Oooohhhh daddy no beating', Dru said pouting with her hands over her ears.  
  
'I'll beat you in a minute if you don't be quite', Chris threatened.  
  
'You couldn't beat me if you tried', Dru laughed.  
  
'Maybe not but I can torment you (an evil grin spread across his face) Look at this Drusilla it's two of your friends I got them and look.....their dead and it's all you fault, look what you've done to them. It's the evil inside you you're an evil girl (Dru was screaming) your always hurting people you love', Chris said imitating what Angel had said to her after he had just sired Chris and Peter.  
  
'No no you did it not me', Dru cried.  
  
'Would you like to know what I did to your dad', Chris whispered in her ear. Dru closed her eyes, crying.  
  
'No not dad', Dru said hoarsely.  
  
'Yes look what I did to him (The vision of Angel opening his bedroom door revealing Dru's dad hanging from the ceiling flashed before Dru's eyes) and I didn't kill him the easy way either, I did it real slow...first I slit his wrists then I whipped him with my belt and punched and kicked him until he begged me to stop(Dru heard Angel's laugh ringing in her ears) but of course that only made me hit him harder and I (Dru's face screwed up as she heard Angel's laugh increase) I picked up the bottle of beer he was drinking and I smashed it in his face (Dru cried as she saw Angel cackle with laughter) oooohhh you really had to be there......but no problem cos I took some pictures it took a long time but it's worth it seeing you face (the pictures and the laughter was almost more than Dru could bear) yeah that face......priceless.'  
Dru was on the floor, sobbing. Chris stopped tormenting her and just stood and watched her he knew he'd pushed it too far but to be honest he couldn't really care what was really bothering him was how badly it had affected Dru this time.  
Dru hid her head in her hands, her ears ringing with Angelus' laughter. She couldn't escape she didn't know anything other than them memories; she didn't know what year it was or where she was or even her own name.  
  
'Dru', Chris said softly kneeling beside her.  
  
'Dru I'm sorry I didn't realise it would have such an effect on you I mean normally you laugh, your happy that Angel made you what you are but don't go super weird on us Dru....we need you...if we're gonna get anywhere, you're the most powerful and even though your crazy you see more than any of us, you understand more than any of us.'  
Back in Wolfram and Hart the senior partners laughed. Eve wiped a tear of mirth away from her eye.  
  
'Ahhhh that'll teach them to try to stop Spike being the champion', Eve said.  
  
'Yeah and that's just the beginning they try anything again and oooohhh boy are they in for a world of pain!' Lindsay said. 


	23. Family

Buffy and Spike made their way back to Wolfram and Hart.  
  
'You don't think we should carry on looking for her do you?' Buffy asked. Spike shook his head.  
  
'Nah not much point really', Spike replied.  
  
'We work well together though', Buffy said smiling, Spike smiled back.  
  
'Yeah we do.'  
Just at that moment Angel emerged from the corner street, and walked into Buffy.  
  
'Oh sorry', Angel apologised not looking at her, he obviously thought she was a stranger.  
  
'Angel what are you doing here?' Buffy asked. Angel looked up and his face went blank.  
  
'Oh Buffy hey I didn't realise it was you.....and um what am I doing here.....I was...erm actually looking for you.....guys', Angel answered.  
  
'What for?' Spike asked coolly.  
  
'Well I just wondered where you'd got to is all', Angel said.  
  
'Right', Spike said making it clear he didn't believe him. Angel scowled at him.  
Buffy explained to Angel about what had just happened with Drusilla.  
  
'She got away?' Angel said.  
  
'It weren't her fault', Spike said defending Buffy.  
  
'I didn't say it was, besides if someone was to blame it would probably be you', Angel said coldly.  
  
'Hey!' Buffy stepped in between the argument that was brewing.  
  
'Anyway as I was saying yes she got away and there was nothing we could do about it', Buffy continued like nothing had happened.  
  
'How about run faster', Angel suggested. Spike looked furious.  
  
'Right that's it', Spike fumed and he punched Angel.  
  
'Spike!' Buffy exclaimed quickly grabbing the back of his jacket. Angel was holding the side of his face.  
  
'Come on that the best you got I crushed you before and you all you do is give me one lousy punch, your mother could punch harder than that', Angel said. Spike let his arm fall to his side, his eyes were shimmering dangerously. Angel knew he'd pushed it too far he didn't know much about his mum except of what Dru had told him about Spike siring her than having to kill her. Buffy was staring at Spike waiting for some kind of reaction.  
  
'Don't you ever, EVER talk about my mother again, you understand', Spike snarled.  
  
'I'm surprised you can even live with yourself', Angel said, he didn't know why he was saying this it felt like he had no control of what was coming out of his mouth like he was standing a few metres away watching himself say all these nasty things.  
  
'I....', Spike began.  
  
'After what you did to her, does Buffy know?' Angel said glancing over at Buffy. Spike didn't say anything he refused to talk about his mother to Angel. 'I take that as no(Spike opened his mouth to tell him she did know but then closed it again) I'm not surprised you didn't tell her I mean making your mother a vampire than having to kill her after is a bit embarrassing', Angel said.  
  
'What about huh you killed all your family (Angel looked away) plus your family's friends and their friends and their children, in fact you've pretty much slaughtered half of the UK haven't you', Spike spat. Angel was staring at the floor, but not really seeing it at all. Spike grinned it gave him great pleasure that this had got to Angel.  
  
'The only difference is Spike is that yeah I killed my family I put them through hell but at least at the end of it they died and their souls went to heaven you on the other sent your own mother to hell where she is spending eternity suffering for something that you should be paying for but no you're here without a care in the world', Angel snarled. Spike felt a tear roll down his face, Buffy and Angel stared.  
  
'I-do-care', Spike said his voice cracking with emotion. Buffy put her hand on Spike's shoulder, feeling very awkward and very sorry for Spike at the same time.  
  
'Are you ok?' she asked him. Spike nodded, wiping his eyes and still staring blankly ahead of him.  
  
'Let's go', Buffy said to Spike throwing Angel a dirty look.  
  
'Spike I....' Angel called, running to catch up with him. Spike halted but didn't turn around.  
  
'I....I'm sorry that was a really...really stupid thing to say and I know you don't want to think about it so I'm sorry I reminded you.....but she might not even be in hell who knows....cos I don't...I mean I've never been staked so I don't where vampires go I just assumed they go to hell because I went to hell but that was different....'  
  
'She is in hell', Spike interrupted. He turned around to face him, his eyes were puffy but he was deadly serious.  
  
'I felt how close I was to hell so I know... vampires don't get forgiven and just float up to heaven, they suffer.....they pay for all the lives they've took, for all the families they've torn apart....we're going to hell you even said it yourself', Spike said.  
  
'But your mother didn't get a chance to kill very many people did she...I mean you staked her quite quickly after from what Dru told me', Angel replied.  
  
'It doesn't matter vampires are evil and their doomed....all of us, not just us two', Spike said.  
  
'Well I'm sorry I said it anyway, I've done just as bad if not worse so I shouldn't really be.....', Angel began.  
  
'Little too late for apologies mate', Spike growled, and he punched Angel in the stomach.  
  
'Well I take it back then', Angel retorted straightening up like nothing had happened. Angel stormed off.  
  
'You didn't mean it anyway, Spike shouted after him, you were just trying to make yourself look like the nicer guy for Buffy.'  
  
'I don't need to try to be the nicer guy Spike, I already am', Angel replied calmly. Spike started out for Angel but Buffy grabbed him by the arm.  
  
'We're leaving', Buffy said through gritted teeth.  
  
'Yeah after I've punched his face in', Spike said jerking his head in Angel's direction.  
Angel carried on walking, he didn't look back. But he'd won, he'd got to Spike and he hadn't even needed to lay a hand on him.  
Eve knocked at Lindsay's front door. When he opened it a grin spilt across his face and they kissed.  
  
'I've been waiting for you', Lindsay whispered. Eve poked his nose with her finger, laughing playfully.  
  
'How are things going at Wolfram and Hart?' Lindsay asked, still in Eve's embrace.  
  
'Alright....but I wish I could see more of you', Eve said sadly.  
  
'Oh you know I can't go near that place too often, can't let the senior partners see me....I don't want to be sent to that hell dimension again', Lindsay replied.  
  
'I know it's just I miss you and it's hard because I'm fighting on the senior partners side again....well sort of anyway and I'm fighting on your side too', Eve moaned.  
  
'Everything will turn out alright in the end I promise you', Lindsay said.  
  
'You mean it?' Eve asked.  
  
'Hey have I ever let you down', Lindsay replied. Eve said nothing.  
  
'I won't fail again', Lindsay promised, more to him self than Eve.  
  
'I believe you', Eve said softly and leaned forward to kiss him again. 


	24. Let it slip

'See that is why I hate that bloody soddin son of a bitch, always poncing around oh look at me I'm Angel champion of the people I fight alone in this big bad world, seeking redemption.....but no don't give me a reward I do this because it's my destiny to help young defensive less women...but I can't even get a decent shag because if I do....oh you don't want to know what will happen....so dear listeners there is my story I give but never receive and I wonder these lonely earths alone and miserable.....so do you feel sorry for me yet?' Buffy laughed as Spike took the piss out of Angel. Spike's anger softened at the sight of Buffy laughing and he felt a smile creep across his face.  
  
'What you two grinning about?' said Giles who had just walked in.  
  
'Oh it's nothing Spike was just taking the mick out of Angel', Buffy replied.  
  
'Oh right......can I join in?' Giles asked.  
  
'Go ahead', Spike said.  
  
'Um let's see.....I um brood a lot and um....I...I'm always moody and feeling sorry for myself', Giles said lamely.  
  
'Giles, Buffy interrupted, please don't try to tell jokes....ever again.'  
  
''I'll have you know I'm quite the joker when I want to be', Giles said. Buffy looked at Spike and they both quickly looked away so they wouldn't burst out laughing.  
  
'What...don't look at me like that I'm a funny guy...and yeah so I like work to be done but I can be sarcastic every now and again', Giles said defensively. Buffy smiled at him.  
  
'I know we were just messing around with you', Buffy said.  
  
'Which just goes to show you can take a joke really well', Buffy added sarcastically.  
Angel and Gunn entered the lift.  
  
'So I told him that I didn't need to try to be the nicer guy that I already was', Angel told Gunn.  
  
'Bet that pissed him of', Gunn laughed.  
  
'Yeah it did but I just walked off and I think Buffy stopped him from running after me and beating me up', Angel replied.  
  
'Yeah he was probably....' Gunn started but his voice trailed away. Angel looked at Gunn, his eyes were wide and his mouth half open. Angel followed his gaze and gasped.  
  
'Oh my God.'  
There lying sprawled out on the floor and bloody was Fred and Wesley. Angel and Gunn ran over to their sides.  
  
'Oh God please don't be dead', Angel prayed, kneeling down beside Wesley while Gunn checked Fred.  
  
'She's cold', Gunn said very hoarsely. Angel closed his eyes in despair hoping that when he opened them he would wake up from this nightmare.  
He opened them but he was still here and Fred and Wes were still unconscious on the floor.  
  
'I think their....' Gunn began but he couldn't get the words out.  
  
'NO!!!' Angel yelled.  
  
'Their not dead I won't let them be', Angel said furiously.  
  
'Now now calm down Angel their not dead.....yet' Angel spun around. It was Chris.  
  
'What are you doing here', Angel snarled and in one quick movement he shoved him against the wall holding his neck.  
  
'Hey didn't I say calm down', Chris choked fear shining in his eyes.  
  
'Not likely after what you've done to my friends', Angel growled every line in his face narrowed in cold fury. Chris struggled to loosen Angel's grip on his neck.  
  
'I'll explain if you let me go', Chris said. Angel hesitated then let him go.  
  
'Thank you, Chris said rubbing his neck, now where was I...oh yeah your friends...I knocked them out....'Chris said.  
  
'Yeah we'd noticed, Gunn said impatiently, what we want to know is why and what do you want from us.'  
  
'I beat them up for the fun of it of course, Chris replied smiling, and seeing your faces was real swell, I just love that fear people get in their eyes before you're about to kill them or they go home and find half their family dead....it's so wonderful you know what I mean (Chris looked at Angel who quickly looked away) and what I want from you is very simple.....Spike.'  
  
'What!?' Angel and Gunn said startled.  
  
'Don't look so surprised guys all I want is for you to hand him over', Chris said calmly.  
  
'Why?' Gunn asked accusingly.  
  
'We have our reasons, Chris muttered, look just think about it no more worrying about whether he is going to over take you Angel, no more worrying about who will shanshu.....or who Buffy will choose to be with.....you'll never have to worry about Spike ever again, we'll take care of him.'  
  
'I don't worry about Spike I.....'  
  
'What do you mean take care of him?' Gunn interrupted Angel.  
  
'Well me and Pete wanted to kill him but Dru wasn't so keen so it hasn't been decided what we'll do with him yet....but we want you to win Angel, it's your destiny', Chris said.  
  
'Really? And why would you care whether I won or not', Angel spat.  
  
'Because you delivered us to immortality', Chris answered.  
  
'Bullshit, Angel snapped, you're a vampire; vampires are only out for themselves they don't give a crap what happens to their sires especially if they have a soul.'  
  
'Actually that's not true all vampire respect their sires', Chris argued.  
  
'Fine I guess that's true but why do you want me to shanshu so much...we're noy even sure if the prophecy is real.'  
  
'We hate Spike I've already told you....'  
  
'But why?'  
  
'I...he....he ruined Drusilla', Chris stammered.  
  
'Liar Drusilla was already ruined and she has me to thank for that.'  
  
'I'm getting tired of all these questions', Chris said angrily.  
  
'Don't you mean your running out of answers', said Angel. Chris gaped stupidly.  
  
'Look I'm the one in control here and I'm ordering you to give us Spike or I will kill your friends here', Chris warned pointing down at Wesley and Fred.  
  
'I'll stop you I'm a better fighter and you know it, you fight me and I'll dust you in a second', Angel said calmly. Chris was looking more and more uncomfortable by the second.  
  
'Plus I'll back him up', Gunn said. Chris backed away, swallowed hard and pulled out something small and rusty.  
  
'You see this (Chris held it up) this grenade thing has so much power that if I was to drop it right now the whole of Wolfram and Hart would be blown up', Chris threatened.  
  
'You're bluffing', Gunn said.  
  
'Am I? well why don't I just drop it and you can see for yourself', Chris said and he let the grenade slide slowly out of his hand.  
  
'NO!' Gunn bellowed.  
  
'Ah so you don't think I'm bluffing after all or if you do you don't trust your instincts enough to risk it.'  
  
'Don't drop it....I'm sure we can reach an agreement', Gunn said walking slowly and carefully to Chris.  
  
'No, Angel said, we're not reaching any agreement with an evil vampire.'  
  
'In case you haven't noticed we don't have many other options', Gunn said through the corner of his mouth.  
  
'Yeah we do....we fight', Angel said and he kicked the Chris' arm so it bent backwards.  
  
'What are you doing!?' Gunn yelled.  
  
Chris moaned in pain, and the grenade slid slowly out from his hand.  
Angel didn't have time to think, his mind was completely numb and without hardly realising what he was doing he threw himself forward in an attempt to catch it, he head Gunn muttering.  
  
'Oh my God, oh my God.'  
  
It was as if time had slowed down, nothing else mattered except catching the grenade because if he didn't he would be responsible for the death of everyone in Wolfram and Hart.  
But the grenade slipped through Angel's waiting fingers, and hit the ground.... 


	25. Something Beautiful

This is one of my favourite chapters, if not my favourite because I explain how I and a lot of spuffy fans feel about Buffy/Spike so I dedicate this to every true spuffy shipper out there because our ship rules (  
  
Angel and Gunn closed their eyes in despair, it was all over.  
They waited for the bang of death....waiting.........waiting........but nothing. Very slowly Angel opened his eyes, hardly daring to but curiosity got the better of him....he had to know. Gunn still had his tightly shut, and his face was screwed up in anxiety but after a minute it began to lessen and he too opened his eyes.  
  
'We're alive', was all he could say. Angel didn't reply, instead he looked around for Chris....he had vanished.  
  
'He was lying...it wouldn't blow up Wolfram and Hart....I thought it looked a bit weird...', Angel ranted.  
  
'Angel.....Chris is gone', Gunn said. Angel's eyes scanned the corridors for any sign of him but there was none.  
  
'He's split, he probably ran when he dropped whatever that thing was', Angel realised.  
  
'I'm gonna see if I can find him, he won't have got far', Gunn said and he walked off.  
Buffy and Spike sat together playing on Spike's x-box.  
  
'Ha I'm gonna beat you now', Buffy laughed as her fighter kicked Spike across the ring. But Spike's fighter was back up on his feet quite quickly.  
  
'Ha-ha, Spike laughed, what was that you were saying?' Buffy scowled and Spike laughed again as he fighter hit Buffy's again. Buffy looked over at Spike and stared at him dreamily, smiling. This was what she wanted, to have a normal life free from worry and fear....and to spend it with Spike.  
Spike stopped hitting at his joystick when he noticed Buffy wasn't even playing anymore. He looked over at her.  
  
'What have you given up or something?' Spike asked. She didn't answer just merely smiled still in her dream state.  
  
'What....what are you staring at?' Spike said getting paranoid. Buffy snapped out of her dream.  
  
'Nothing...I was just.....I was just thinking that this is how it should be, you, me in front of the tele battling it out on the x-box (Buffy laughed) and just having a good time without all the fights and people dying....it makes a nice change', Buffy replied. Spike smiled in agreement and shuffled up next to her.  
  
'Did I ever tell you just how much I love you', Spike said softly.  
  
'Now let's see, Buffy said pretending to think, yeah I think you may have mentioned it once or twice.' Spike grinned and for a fleeting moment Buffy was sure he was about to kiss her. But he just resorted to putting his arm around her, gazing down at her, Buffy gazed back at him totally lost in his shining blue eyes. This was their moment, just like when Buffy and Spike slept in each other's arms the first time and the second time and their last goodbyes. It was like the world around them dropped away and there was just them left. Buffy didn't need her friends to understand or for it to be a perfect relationship like on films, this was something real, deep, dark and confusing but real.  
Meanwhile Giles, Willow and Kennedy were having a deep conversation about what was going on.  
  
'Maybe a spell would work, you could get into their minds and find out what's going on', Kennedy suggested.  
  
'Mind reading....that might work', Giles said thoughtfully.  
  
'But these are powerful demons or whatever they are and we don't know much about them so I don't think that's such a good idea, they could totally use it against me and then what?' Willow said not convinced.  
  
'Good point', Giles said.  
  
'Well what else are we going to do I mean how many people have we got against us we have these so called God's called Vargners then theirs this place and Dru and her bodyguard vampires', Kennedy said frustrated.  
  
'Vampires...I think their probably our weakest link', Giles said slowly.  
  
'You think we should take them out first?' Willow asked.  
  
'Whoa did I miss something I thought we were dealing with the God's first I mean we have no idea what their capable of so isn't it best if we.....'  
  
'I could go get Buffy and explain then I could do a locater spell to find them and then we can take them out', Willow went on ignoring Kennedy.  
  
'Yes that sounds good, but why don't I tell Buffy and you can do the locator spell while I go get the old army started', Giles replied.  
  
'Hey is anyone listening to me', Kennedy cried.  
  
'Are you going to tell Buffy and the gang now?' Willow asked. Kennedy's arms dropped to her side and she shook her head.  
  
'Take that as no', she muttered.  
  
'I'm not sure where Xander is though', Giles said.  
  
'What do mean you don't know where he is I thought......' Kennedy started.  
  
'I'll call him on his cell phone', Willow said.  
  
'Guys...' Kennedy said desperately, trying to get their attention.  
  
'He did say he was thinking of travelling around the world'  
  
'Hello can anyone explain what's.....'  
  
'I doubt he's started that yet last I heard he was still saving up', Willow replied.  
  
'HELLO CAN SOMEONE PLEASE EXPLAIN WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!?' Kennedy yelled. Giles and Willow stared at her.  
  
'I'm sorry did you want something?' Giles said. Kennedy gaped at him.  
Buffy rested against Spike, her head against his heart. His arm was still round her and the x-box was frozen on the pause menu. Spike gently stroked her. They breathed each other's breath, totally in union and their hearts warmed each other's.  
  
'We're going to have to get up some time', Spike said breaking the silence. Buffy stirred.  
  
'Can't we just stay like this forever', she said sleepily. Spike looked down at her and kissed her head.  
  
'What never moving from this spot', Spike whispered.  
  
'mmm', Buffy replied.  
  
'I think we'd get a bit hungry after a while', Spike laughed. Buffy smiled at him, and they sunk into each other's eyes.  
  
'I'd forgotten how much I'd missed having you around', Buffy said softly.  
  
'I wasn't gone that long was I....only 19 days and then I came back', Spike said.  
  
'Yeah but I didn't see you until like 3 months afterwards', Buffy said.  
  
'Yeah sorry about that, a lot was going on around here', Spike apologised.  
  
'Ah forget it, all is forgiven', Buffy replied.  
  
'You always forgive me, I don't get it', Spike said confused.  
  
'What do you mean always, there's not much I've had to forgive you for except the rape thing but that was when you didn't have a soul so that was different', Buffy said quickly.  
  
'But when I tried to explain to you how bad I could be you still wouldn't kill me', Spike said.  
  
'I knew with the soul you were a good man', Buffy replied.  
  
'I just realised I never said thank you.'  
  
'For what knowing you were a good man?' Buffy asked frowning.  
  
'For believing in me', Spike said. The moment got more intimate, Spike held Buffy closer to him. Buffy moved her hand up his chest until it reached his shoulder, and she turned her head so she could face him. She leaned closer, closer and closer until their noses touched and he could feel the warmth of her breath on him. Their lips brushed against each other's and Buffy put her other hand on the back of Spike's head. They got more involved in the kiss and the kiss turned into a snog. Buffy turned her body so it was more comfortable and her hand slid up his face.  
They hadn't kissed since Buffy went down the stairs the second time and they could both feel the passion and the pain of not touching each other for so long. It was beautiful not one of those hello kisses that Buffy and Angel did, not one of those kisses that Buffy and soulless Spike used to do. A kiss of love, no reason for it, just a mere kiss but after all they'd been though it meant a lot that they could trust each other again and forget all the bad things that had happened and still want to be together. Buffy remembered feeling all this when they were together in the basement and they slept together in the not so literal way.  
Very slowly they pulled away, both of their eyes still closed.  
  
'Well that was nice', Buffy whispered.  
  
'Buffy?' Buffy and Spike's eyes snapped open. It was Giles. For a minute it looked as though Giles hadn't noticed Buffy was sitting on Spike's lap but then he blinked and stared at them, completely forgetting what he was about to say. Buffy caught Spike's eye and they both shifted uncomfortably.  
  
'Hi Giles', Buffy said not looking at him.  
  
'Wha...' Giles mouthed, no sound came out. He cleared his throat.  
  
'Erm is this a bad time?' Giles said.  
  
'No...er what was it you wanted?' Buffy asked keen to keep the subject away from her and Spike.  
  
'Oh I er I-I needed to speak to you, me and Willow had a talk and we think it's best if we take out Dru and the other two vampires first', Giles replied more awake.  
  
'Well me and Spike already tried to take Dru out but she got away', Buffy said sliding off Spike and back onto the sofa.  
  
'Right, but Willow's trying out a locater spell to see if we can find out where their hiding and then we can all go.'  
  
'Ok', Buffy replied. An awkward silence fell over them as each of them pondered on what to say.  
  
'Well I better go, I need to see if Willow's done and then try and contact Xander', Giles said finally.  
  
'Isn't Xander staying at that hotel thingy?' Buffy asked.  
  
'He said he wanted to travel around the world', Giles replied.  
  
'Oh yeah he mentioned something like that on the phone to me a couple of days ago but he said he didn't have enough money yet so he was postponing for a couple of months when he was earning more', Buffy said.  
  
'Oh so he found a job?' Giles asked.  
  
'Um yeah he's working in that small restaurant I can't remember the name of, I think its Italian but he's not earning much, he said that if he didn't get a promotion he might go back to the Ladies Night club (Buffy laughed) and fill in for any sick male strippers again', Buffy said smiling and shaking her head.  
  
'Male strippers?' Giles asked.  
  
'That was years ago and still he won't tell me the story', Buffy said. Giles nodded then looked quite sick. Buffy and Spike smiled at each other.  
  
'Ok and on that disturbing note I think I'll be off', Giles said.  
Giles left the room leaving Buffy and Spike alone again.  
  
'He's probably going to ask him about it now', Spike said shaking his head and smiling.  
  
'Xander won't tell him he's too embarrassed.'  
  
'Who wouldn't be? Though it's pretty obvious what happened.'  
  
'Yeah but he wouldn't fill me in on all the juicy details', Buffy said disappointed. Spike tilted his head, smiling at her.  
  
'What?' Buffy said, paranoid.  
  
'Nothing....it's just your so cute', Spike said.  
  
'Oh ok', Buffy said a little embarrassed.  
Angel watched from the window. He had gone there to ask them if they had seen Chris about but had found them talking to each other and found he couldn't go in. They seemed so relaxed and happy around each other, they were smiling and laughing and making moon eyes at each other. It made Angel feel sick. He felt so isolated from them even though they were just a few metres away from him. It started to dawn on him, Buffy loved Spike. He had competition. He'd always thought that him and Buffy would always be each other's true love, the one that lasted forever but seeing them together.....maybe she really had found someone else. 


	26. Not as easy as it sounds

'Did you find him?' Gunn asked half an hour later.  
  
'No did you?' Angel said not really paying attention; his mind was still on Buffy and Spike.  
  
'Not a trace', Gunn replied sadly.  
  
'Well at least everyone's ok', Angel continued still in the toneless voice like he was hypnotised.  
  
'Angel are you ok?' 'Gunn asked studying him.  
  
'Great never better you?' Angel said quickly without looking up.  
  
'Angel....' Gunn began seriously.  
  
'Just leave it ok? I'm not fine...I don't think I'll ever be fine, something will always come and screw it up', Angel said bitterly.  
  
'Whoa what's with the feeling sorry for yourself?' Gunn said taken aback.  
  
'Nothing', Angel muttered but Gunn continued to stare at him waiting for an answer so he gave in.  
  
'It's nothing much....it's just I always lose everyone I care about Buffy, Connor, Cordelia, even Fred and you for a little while.'  
  
'Well you got me and Fred back', Gunn said trying to sound cheerful.  
  
'Yeah but what if I hadn't....you know what Gunn I'm tired of loosing everybody.'  
  
'Don't then, don't give up you can still win her', Gunn said finally understanding what had brought on Angel's bad mood. Some of the tight weight in Angel's heart lightened and finally he met Gunn's eyes.  
  
'You really think so?' Angel said quietly.  
  
'I know so, you can't just let her go Angel we all know that Buffy ain't gonna find another boyfriend it's between you and Spike so you can still win, I know how much she means to you.'  
  
'Yeah I know what she meant to me but what about everything that's happened since then.... of course I still love her I mean it's Buffy how can I not?' Angel said desperately.  
  
'Angel listen to me....I lost Fred and I regret it every day but she's with Wesley and I deal but you still have a chance and by God Angel don't throw it away like I did', Gunn said seriously.  
  
'You still have a chance with Fred...' Angel started to say but Gunn merely glared at him and Angel fell silent.  
  
'Ok but what about Nina?' Angel asked.  
  
'You two hardly see each other any more I mean how many times have you seen her since Buffy got here?'  
  
'A couple of times, every now and again.'  
  
'Exactly, I'm not saying you should give up on her just that you should keep your options open because right now we've been really busy that we haven't had that much time to deal with Nina when she wolfs out.'  
  
'But I really like Nina', Angel argued.  
  
'Oh for....make your mind up Angel', Gunn said frustrated.  
  
'But you said keep your options open.'  
  
'Yeah but if your going to be all babyish about it', Gunn started.  
  
'I'm not being babyish', Angel said folding his arms and pouting. Gunn looked at him as if to say if you could see yourself in the mirror you might think otherwise.  
  
'Well who do you want to be with more?' Gunn asked simply.  
  
'I can't answer that', Angel cried disgusted.  
  
'Buffy', Angel said a second later.  
  
'Ok then....'  
  
'No wait Nina....no Buffy....no...' Angel said getting confused.  
  
'Angel!' Gunn said loudly clenching his fists not to loose his temper.  
  
'I don't know I love Buffy and I always will but time's moved on....we've moved on.'  
  
'Yeah you've really moved on, name one serious girlfriend you've had since Buffy', Gunn demanded.  
  
'Er... Cordelia only she wasn't really my girlfriend', Angel muttered. Gunn raised his eyebrow.  
  
'It doesn't matter anyway so she's moved on with her life so have I but I can't move on from her because.....because it's Buffy and once you fall in love with Buffy you can never be cured, just ask Spike', Angel went on.  
  
'How do you feel about Nina?' Gunn asked.  
  
'Um I fancy her but I haven't known her that long she's not Buffy though that's for sure', Angel said stubbornly.  
  
'Angel will you just shut up and listen to yourself (Angel stared) you haven't even given Nina a chance yet, you two could develop into something special but if you keep comparing every relationship you ever have to Buffy then of course your not gonna move on from her (Angel opened his mouth to speak) so what you had with Buffy was special fine but there's more than one girl out there for you Angel, you need to realise that', Gunn said firmly. Angel ran his fingers through his hair and sighed.  
  
'Fine your right.'  
Giles hang up the phone having just spoken to Xander.  
  
'What did he say?' Willow asked.  
  
'He's on his way now and then we can all go', Giles replied.  
  
'Good', Willow said a little nervous.  
  
'You're sure the locator spell is right?' Giles checked.  
  
'Yep their hiding in an old warehouse building or something, I've seen it a couple of times with Kennedy its down next to the leisure centre thingy.'  
  
'Oh right.'  
  
'Yeah...' Willow said slowly.  
Just at that moment Buffy and Spike walked in interrupting the awkward slience.  
  
'So what's happening?' Buffy asked. Willow explained what was going on and that Xander was on his way.  
  
'Great so as soon as he gets here we go to the warehouse and finish Drusilla off once and for all', Buffy said determinedly.  
  
'And her vampire bodyguards', Willow added.  
  
'Right.'  
Buffy and Spike sat down next to each other. Willow and Giles caught each other's eye and they frowned on seeing how close Buffy and Spike were sitting.  
  
'So um how are things going between you two?' Willow asked curiously but anxious of how they were going to react. Buffy caught Spike's eye and they both looked away very quickly. Buffy opened her mouth trying to find the right words but no words came out.  
  
'What do you mean?' Spike asked finally.  
  
'I meant you know...you two, your relationship.....are you boyfriend and girlfriend?' Willow said in a small voice. Spike looked over to Buffy for some sort of answer but she stared blankly back at him glad the spotlight was off her.  
  
'We...um...me and Buffy we're....we're just friends, like always you know well since I got my soul back anyway', Spike replied awkwardly.  
  
'It's just you seem pretty close', Willow said examining them. Buffy and Spike glanced at each other again and they noticed that Buffy was slightly leaning on Spike. As soon as she realised this Buffy sat up properly, blushing furiously.  
  
'What? We're close', Buffy said defensively.  
  
'Depends on what you mean by close', Giles muttered. Buffy scowled at him.  
  
'What, Giles cried, I mean look at you two you're practically lying on each other and ok I admit I'm not the biggest fan of you two together but for God's sake already you obviously love each other so stop with the defensive crap and just get together.'  
  
'We're not defensive anymore, when I was kicked out and Spike came to find me he made this big speech about why he loved me and we slept in each others arms and after that we were a bit defensive until I told Spike that we should stop with the mix signals and we did....but yeah we love each other but we're just taking time making up for the time we lost when I though Spike was dead', Buffy explained. Spike stared at Buffy in awe, pride shimmering in his eyes.  
Suddenly Xander walked in to spoil the moment.  
  
'So did I miss anything?' Xander asked cheerfully. No one said anything.  
They arrived at the warehouse.  
  
'Everybody ready?' Buffy checked. They all nodded so Buffy proceeded forward, kicking the door down. They crept carefully across the floor aware that it could give way any second. The dust was engulfing them which made it hard to breath.  
  
'God it's so dark, can anyone see anything?' Xander hissed.  
  
'A little bit', Buffy whispered.  
  
'This place is discriminating to people with one eye', Xander muttered. Buffy frowned at him and they continued to explore all corners of the warehouse.  
  
'Looks like they got out before we came', Spike said.  
  
'Ye....' Buffy began to agree but was interrupted by the sound of a punch then a moan of pain as they hit the floor.  
  
'Giles!?' Buffy cried her eyes desperately scanning for where he was lying.  
  
Drusilla came up behind Willow.  
  
'Look at the bright fire, it's gonna burn', she hissed into her ear. Willow spun around her heart pounding but Dru step sided her and knocked her to the floor. Then she pinned her to the floor and leaned forward to bite her.  
  
'BUFFY!', Willow screamed.  
  
'Willow!', Buffy yelled and she darted over to where she'd heard her cry and pulled Drusilla off Willow and sent her flying.  
  
'Willow...willow are you ok?' Buffy said trying to see her.  
  
'She bit me', Willow groaned.  
  
'Are you ok?' Buffy said worriedly.  
  
'She...she took a big bite...she...' Willow's voice trailed off and her head lolled to her side as she lost consciousness.  
  
'Willow!' Buffy cried shaking her.  
Elsewhere Spike was battling against Chris.  
  
'Come on is that the best you got', Spike laughed as he punched Chris into the wall. Chris yelled in anger and grabbed Spike around the neck and pushed him into the wall.  
  
'Screw you', Chris spat.  
  
'No thanks mate I don't swing that way', Spike growled and he grabbed Chris's neck and snapped it. He felt Chris fall to the floor next to his feet and he plunged the stake into his heart.  
Drusilla was now up on her feet and fighting Buffy, while Xander was fighting with Peter. Giles was tending to Willow and trying to move her out of the way of the fight so she wouldn't get hurt even more. When Peter saw that Chris had been dusted be cried out in frustration and charged at Spike but Spike dodged him but Peter spun around and kicked him. Xander came over to help Spike and dusted Peter from behind. He helped Spike to his feet.  
  
'That wasn't so hard', Xander said cockily. He had spoken too soon. 


	27. Dust to Dust

Drusilla came up behind him and placed her hands on his neck ready to crack it.  
  
'NOOOO!' Buffy screeched which distracted Dru giving time for Buffy to sprint over.  
  
'Ah ah', Dru threatened turning Xander around to face her. Buffy stopped in her tracks.  
  
'Come closer and mummy will go crack-crack', Dru warned her. Buffy desperately tried to think of a solution on the spot but her mind was blank with fear and her heart was hammering so hard she couldn't even hear herself attempt to think.  
Spike was frozen in motion between about to attack and holding back.  
  
'Why do you even care', Dru snapped at Spike. Spike loosened up and let his arm drop to his side.  
  
'Because he's a friend', Spike answered coolly. Dru laughed.  
  
'You think he cares about you? Do you think he would risk his life for yours?' Dru questioned Spike on Xander. Spike looked away.  
  
'Maybe not and I can't say we're the best of mates but I fight on the good side and that means helping out innocent and good people...I made a choice to do that and I plan to stick to it so you can take your plan of making me evil and shove it', Spike snarled.  
  
'People are stupid and weak you used to understand that', Dru said disappointed.  
  
'Some people are stupid yeah and their weak but not all of them are you should understand that', Spike retorted. Buffy looked from Spike to Dru they had so much anger at each other and were wrapped up in that so now would be the perfect time to free Xander. Buffy took the chance and rushed forward, pushing Dru aside. Dru fell into Spike's arms and he let her drop to the floor looking disgusted.  
  
'Why so much hate sweet Willy you used to love me so', Dru said.  
  
'You killed me luv what do you expect, you turned me into a monster I can never forgive you for that', Spike said punching Dru. He pulled out a stake.  
  
'Can you do it?', Dru whispered. Spike's hand shook as he prepared to stake one of the most important women in his life.  
  
'I don't love you anymore', Spike snarled down at her.  
  
'No but I am the women of you life, I made you Spike, everything you did was because of me and I don't just mean the killing if it wasn't for me you wouldn't have even met her', Dru said indicating Buffy. Buffy stared at Spike it was obvious that he knew that all that Drusilla had said was true. Buffy realised within that second that he couldn't do it. She rested her hand on his shoulder.  
  
'I'll do it', Buffy told him but Spike didn't move.  
  
'No', Spike said stubbornly. Buffy frowned at him.  
  
'Do you still have feelings for her or something?' Buffy demanded.  
  
'No....yes but there're memories....I...I loved her Buffy, I really did and even though it was self absorbed and when I was evil I can still feel it, I can still taste it and it makes me sick but she's right if it weren't for her I would never have met you', Spike said not looking at her.  
  
'Is that what this is about, me? Spike it doesn't matter she's evil you fight on the good side remember.'  
  
'But she's....she's Drusilla', Spike said weakly still clutching the stake. Buffy stared at him confused.  
  
'I don't expect you to understand', Spike added quickly. But as soon as he said that he began to understand and pull himself together. 'But I don't need you to', Spike muttered and he plunged his stake through Drusilla's heart. A moment passed where Dru stared down at the stake, shocked, then still wide-eyed she looked up to Spike.  
  
'You fool, Dru chocked, the stench of humanity in you gets worse by each day', Dru spat and reduced to dust. Spike stood there motionless for a second. He'd done it, he'd really killed Drusilla. 


End file.
